


Loki x Reader - Runes

by TheJokersEnigma



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Loki x Reader - Freeform, Rune entrapment, based in asgard, bewitchments, slight au?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-07-10 02:29:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15939929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheJokersEnigma/pseuds/TheJokersEnigma
Summary: It is a known tradition in Asgard (of course it’s not, but it is in this story!) that every female on her birth obtains a rune carved into the tip of an antler which is then worn around her neck until the day of her marriage. There are a set number of runes, depending on which you have with determine the future you will live once the rune is broken at your marriage. The Reader has never cared for her rune, but others seem to - the future it predicts something that no one wants to deal with.It seems all too good to be true, therefore, when Prince of Asgard - and the man she’s had a crush on since childhood - Loki, seems to show an interest in her. Too bad she’ll have to show him her rune…(Based at the start of the first Thor Movie and goes on from there - (aka Loki is a little sugar cube at the start ;) )(I’m shit at summaries, but I’m excited for this series! :D)





	1. Chapter 1

You thanked the messenger as they handed the small scroll-like note to you, then moved it to your lap to unroll it, your eyes briefly flickering over the words. You couldn’t help the brief grimace that crossed your face.

“What is it, [Y/N]?” Yuliya asked, catching your expression.

“Nothing.” You dismissed quickly with a polite shake of your head, folding the scroll back up.

“It does not like look like nothing.” She persisted, never one to be so easily dissuaded from a topic that brought her any amount of interest.

You cleared your throat uncomfortable, knowing Yuliya would not back down without a long winded fight that you did not possess the energy for at the moment. “It would appear I have acquired a companion for the evening.” You stated formally, unable to help your gaze flickering momentarily to where Loki Odinson sat alone, relatively close by, in the corner of the open-air Inn, ignoring the bustling groups of comrades around him - his head buried in a book as usual.

Yuliya followed your gaze, “Ooooh…” She realised, then quickly glanced around, “Can I talk with you outside?”

You looked at her in surprise. “Of course.” You agreed with a nod, standing up with her from the small table the two of you had been sharing, and following after her as she led the way out of the walled garden.

“You really have a date tonight?” She asked, barely waiting till you were out of earshot of the Inn.

“Yes.” You sighed, glancing back down at the note in your hand.

“I thought… You and Loki?” She prompted, glancing back at the doorway you had just left through, as though the Prince would magically appear.

You glanced back as well. “Yuli, I that is a wish I have had for as long as I can remember,” You confessed, “But I cannot sit around here any longer waiting for something that will never happen.” You admitted sadly. “I cannot waste my best years.”

“Your ‘best years’?” Yuliya quoted back at you, “You’ve been speaking with you mother, again haven’t you?” She accused.

“Maybe in this she is right though, Yuli.” You pointed out, “I am not getting any younger - any eligible bachelor is bound to think there is something wrong with me if I do not get engaged within the next few years and then all my offers will cease, and I shall become a spinster.”

“Maybe that’s for the best.”

“Yuli.” You sighed warningly.

“But what if you go tonight, end up engaged and all along Loki is just –“

You stopped suddenly in the path you and Yuliya had been walking without much thought. “Has he ever shown the slightest interest in me?” You asked firmly, intent on putting this subject to rest.

“Well, more than he’s shown in most.” Yuliya pointed out.

“I’m not sure a few civil words count.” You muttered, shifting your shawl tighter around your shoulders as you started forward again, the wind now bringing a chill from the nearby river with it.

“So… what? You will go tonight, be wooed, live happily ever after?”

“Don’t patronise me, Yuli.” You grumbled.

“But you will go tonight?”

“I guess I shall.” You sighed tiredly.

“You really don’t sound thrilled.” Yuliya observed sceptically.

“What do you wish me to say, Yuliya?” You cried in exasperation, throwing your hands, “It’s not Loki – I wish it was, but it isn’t, and it won’t ever be, ok? I’m trying to face that, and I’d appreciate it if you did too, or at the very least supported me!” You growled, “The prince clearly doesn’t see me in that way and there’s nothing either of us can do about it, alright? You can’t force someone to love you if they don’t! You just can’t!” You voice broke then and you hadn’t realised that tears had been building in your eyes until one rolled down your cheek. You brushed it away quickly.

“Ok, alright, I understand.” Yuliya said quickly, throwing her hands up in surrender before she noticed you try to discretely brush away another tear from your eye. “Hey? Hey.” She threw and arm around you, forcing you to stop, then pulled you into her shoulder and you couldn’t help it as you began to sob into the silk sleeve of her gown.

“Maybe you’re right, [Y/N],” She admitted gently, patting you pack comfortingly, “Maybe you just need to move on.” She agreed, feeling her nod next to you. “And, maybe this suitor may not be the right one, but maybe it will start a path to him.”

You pulled away from her with a watery smirk. “That’s… very mature.” You commended with a sniff, wiping at your eyes.

“I know.” Yuliya sighed, handing you a handkerchief she seemed to just pull from mid-air. “It’s killing me.” She groaned and you laughed quietly as you took the tissue from her gratefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short, just a little thing I threw together this evening because I had the idea so clear in my head I just had to make the most of it and write it down - I think it sounds like a possible series, though I don’t currently have any plans with where to take it…. haha 
> 
> (Sorry there’s not actually much Loki in this part! :S)
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

“Did you even make it to the dinner?” Yuliya sighed in exasperation at your back where you were currently bent over one of the numerous tables in highest room of the tower, rolling up a scroll of paper.

“No.” You muttered, not bothering to look up from your work.

“After you nearly bit my head off yesterday when I attempt to dissuade you?!” You didn’t really have the time – or words – to explain this right now, so instead you just shrugged. Yuliya scowled, stepping up next to you and leaning her hip into the table as she folded her arms, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at you. “You showed the rune again, didn’t you?” She accused knowingly.

“I did not see the point in wasting either of our times.” You admitted simply, now taking the scroll you had tied up with a small piece of string and moving around the table, leaving Yuli behind.

“But just throwing your rune - any rune – at someone,” Your friend insisted, turning to follow your progress with her eyes as you moved to the opposite side of the room, placing her hands on the table in front of her. “Is almost certain to scare them off!” She pointed out, leaning across the table at you earnestly.

“No.” You corrected, now lifting your wrist into the air. At this apparent signal, the dark wall in front of you - largely covered in shadow - came alive with the flapping of wings and protesting caws until a single raven – the one who had apparently won the argument – flew gracefully down to land lightly on the leather gauntlet on your arm. “Showing a man your rune straight away may indeed make them think you are perhaps a bit odd – maybe even desperate to be wed,” You admitted, now tying the scroll – onehandedly, thanks to years of practice – onto the bird’s leg which it had obediently lifted. “– but they would see past it perhaps.” You reasoned, then shook your head, glancing back at your friend. “Yuli, this man practically swallowed his tongue and fled the room.”

“Look I told you it was a bad idea – tried to convince you otherwise –“ She reminded you.

“That was because of the prince –“ You pointed out, now turning with the raven still on your arm.

“It doesn’t matter why – I promised I support you if that’s what you wanted – so this is me supporting you.” She insisted as she watched you now head for the largest window in the room which, as always, hung open ready for any arriving or departing birds. Yuliya had often remarked that the hinges of the window mere likely rusted in place now, but you didn’t care, it allowed a cool breeze in the height of summer and made no difference in the winter – the tower near impossible to heat anyway. “[Y/N],” Yuliya stressed, stepping around the table after you, “Give them a chance to get to know you –“

“Yuliya,” You stressed desperately, cutting across her after throwing the raven out into the cool morning air that promised autumnal winds soon, “If I don’t want to deal with this, no one else is going to want to!”

“Well, you could just never tell them…” Yuliya murmured, thinking out loud.

You scoffed, “Any sane man would eventually ask at some point – no one would get engaged without knowing what they were in for. And I bet you - even if we’d been together for years - he would still turn tail and run!” You laughed a bitter, hollow laugh at the cruelty of it all.

“You could lie…” Yuliya threw out there.

“Oh, that’d be a delightful wedding present!” You exclaimed dramatically, throwing your arms into the air, the sudden movement making the roosting ravens startle, a few of them flying off their perches to flap once around the room before settling back down again. You barely paid them any attention though, “And what about the burning, hm? When I suddenly don’t turn out to be the lovely, mothering wife I was supposed to be, but a – “

“Ok I get it.” Yuliya interrupted you quickly.

“See?! You won’t even let me say it!” You cried, making the birds behind you shift and hop uncomfortably on their perches again.

“There are other things it could mean!” She insisted, turning after you as you now strode past her to the opposite side of the room where the window was barely more than an arrow slit in the brick, but beneath a small hearth crackled. “And you never know, it might not be as bad as you think-“

“Look, Yuliya.” You stated, stopping her as you turned to face her again. “I know what I said last night, but I’ve thought about it and I’m through lying to myself. I have to be seen to try for my mother, but I’ve made my peace with the fact I’m destined to be a spinster.” You told her.

“Y/N, it – “ Yuli tried to protest, but the sound of a knock made her falter, both of you now turning in surprise to see none other than Loki Odinson pushing open the heavy wooden door to the tower. “Oh, uh – good morning, your highness.” Yuliya stammered, offering a quick courtesy, glancing anxiously to you as you tried to keep yourself calm. You didn’t know how much he had heard.

“My apologies,” Loki nodded formally, “I require Lady [Y/N]’s services… I do hope I’m not intruding…” He added, looking between the two of you questioningly, both of you still looking somewhat like deer caught in headlights. 

Yuliya snapped back to her sense first. “N-Not at all,” She dismissed quickly, shaking her head, “Just – uh – friends - gossiping,” She explained. “I’ll – uh – I’ll get out of your way.” She said with a forced smile, casting you a glance to check this is what you wanted. But you didn’t know - did you want her to leave? It was your duty to help the Prince in whatever matter he came seeking your aid in, your job to help him if it involved the ravens - but you didn’t want your backup to leave. Yuliya saw you were unlikely to answer anytime soon, so turned back to Loki, forcing a pleasant, breezy smile again before then move past Loki, going to leave - though not before she shot you one last meaningful glance back at from behind Loki’s shoulder. You knew what it meant, she would be back later that evening, and you rolled your eyes at her whilst Loki’s own gaze was diverted to the ravens that croaked softly in the shadows.

You followed after Yuliya without glancing at the prince, shutting the door behind her with one last look before you then to Loki with a bright – though still slightly forced - smile. “Your highness, how can I be of help? You have a message – a parcel?” You questioned politely.

Loki moved further into the room, inspecting the timbers overhead where cobwebs caught the sunlight and birds rustled. “No, I don’t need a raven.” He informed you, his head tilted up as he turned, “I require a potion.” He stated, finally dropping his head so his eyes met yours.

You blinked in surprise. “I – uh – should – should you not be seeking the city’s skilled alchemist – the man whose daily wages are made from crafting such concoctions?”

Loki’s face darkened at this. “I am not simple,” He growled, “I am aware of the man, though he does not deserve to possess his title.” He snarled, “The fool messes up the simplest of recipes, drunken half the time –“

“I believe he calls it being experimental, your highness.” You murmured with a small smirk, now turning to pick up the few spare pieces of string you spotted left on one of the tables.

“Let him hide behind whatever façade he wants,” Loki muttered, “When I rule Asgard he’ll have no place within these city walls…”

You raised your eye brows at this statement but kept your head down as you tidied. “You are certain you will take the thrown then, my prince?” You asked conversationally, sweeping smaller bits of string into a pile on the table. “Not your brother?”

You glanced back at Loki when he didn’t answer straight away, finding him now looking at you oddly. “What will be, will be.” He stated calmly, his face blank of any emotion. You thought this sounded rather ominous. You knew Loki as a troublemaker and a trickster – often seen by many as devious and cruel in his pranks, favouring other’s misfortunes as his entertainment – but you also knew the love he held for his brother, and that was no lie despite the competition between them. No, the prince couldn’t possibly be considering sabotaging his own brother over something as important as coronation…

What will be, will be.

You eventually nodded uncertainly, then turned back to the desk, sweeping the pile of string into your hands, still feeling the prince’s eyes on you as you moved to throw them into the fire. “I have heard many people speak highly of your alchemy skills.” Loki continued now, turning the conversation back to the original topic.

You were grateful for this, though tried not to show it. “I cannot really confirm or deny their compliments,” You said, shaking your head modestly your back still to him, “I simply help where they cannot afford Olaf’s prices.” You shrugged.

“You do not charge them?” The prince asked, his voice showing his interest.

“I charge them adequately for my skills – which are far more limited than the city’s alchemist. I also do not limit the payment to coin alone.” You explained. “I have just as much use for a loaf of bread than the coin that would buy me the bread.”

“You have a kind heart.” Loki observed gently.

You shrugged, though was surprised by the sincerity in the prince’s voice, knowing that wasn’t exactly his strong suit. The truth was though, if your rune was anything to go by the last thing you had was a kind heart. But because of this, you were desperate to ensure you did as much good as possible whilst you still could – as though in some way that might make up for anything you did if – despite your best attempts – your rune should ever be burnt, and your future released.

“So, will you help me?” Loki asked simply, his voice low and almost soft. You heard his footsteps as he moved up behind you, but you were surprised, when you turned, to find him much closer than you had originally thought. You took a step back towards the hearth, feeling the heat through the skirt of your dress as you tried to put some distance back between the two of you. You studied his face for a moment before finally nodding.

“Of course, what is it you need?”

“Just a simple healing balm.”

You furrowed your brow at Loki in slight bewilderment, but then simply nodded, glad for the excuse to now slip past him and trying not to look as awkward as you felt. You headed to the small door next to wall of roosting ravens, pushing it open and descending the few small steps to the small study where you kept your meagre alchemy supplies.

Though it was odd to you that the prince had asked for something so basic, you were grateful really as it meant you would not have to send out for any rare supplies than what you already had.

“You’re puzzled by my request.” Loki observed, now appearing in the stone arch of the open doorway having followed after you. “Tell me what you are thinking.”

“It’s nothing, your highness.” You shook your head, then thought better of it – after all, he wanted to know – and paused in your collecting your supplies together, straightening up from where you had been crouched by one of the old cabinets, and turning to face the prince. “It is just…” You frowned at Loki, “It is common knowledge amongst people that you have fair skills in magic and alchemy – that your mother – that the queen,” You corrected quickly, remembering yourself, “taught you. Therefore, surely you are more than adequately capable of creating such a simple serum yourself?” You questioned guardedly.

Loki nodded formally, “Your assumption?” He asked, slowly descending the few steps into the room. “I can see you have made one.”

You blushed, not particularly comfortable with how easy he could read your face. “Well I – uh,” You glanced away, then turned back to the ingredients you had pulled out onto the side, fiddling with them nervously. “I decided that, just because you could do it yourself, does not mean that you cannot simply pay someone else to do it for you.” You observed. “After all, it is not like you have any shortage of money.”

“You truly think so little of me?” Loki queried, sounding almost amused by your verdict.

“Do not take it personal, my prince,” You assured him, glancing back over your shoulder, “I would think the same of anyone with any semblance of a fortune.” You explained with a small shrug.

“And you do not count yourself as one of those?” Loki assumed, raising an eyebrow as he walked further into the room, heading for the fireplace which was already crackling with life. He moved up behind the worn armchair that glowed warmly from the flames, next to which sat a small coffee table, its surface stained with multiple rings of varying colours. The prince reached a hand for a jar of something you had left on the small table, turning it to read its label with a vague interest.

“What gave me away?” You muttered, bemused “My job,” You gestured at the door where the ravens dozed, “my appearance,” You gestured down at yourself and your rather shabby, dusty dress, “or my abode?” You gestured around the room.

“It is more your title I have interest in…” Loki murmured, casting his eyes around the room as though your mention of it suddenly made him aware of the rather dark, slightly smoky chamber.

“My title is worth nothing thanks to my parents, your highness.” You informed him coolly. “They have made it very clear to me from the start of my life that they have no intention to share their wealth beyond what was necessary for my survival. They make their fortune alone, they, alone, therefore, are able to spend It.” You shook your head. “The only time I will ever see that fortune is to be when they are both dead.” You stated without emotion. “It is why I believe my mother is so desperate to see me wedded…” You muttered.

“There will be nothing left from what I have seen of their spending.” Loki observed, now moving up behind you to watch as you began to grind a variety of berries in a pestle and mortar, showing no signs of having heard your last comment.

“I am aware, your highness.” You agreed, your eyes not leaving the bowl of berries as you pressed them. “That is why I do not spend my life as though I will ever have a fortune.” You explained.

“That is very wise.” Loki commended with a nod. There was a moment of silence between the two of you, before Loki then turned away, continuing his investigation of the tiny room. “I overhead your conversation with your friend…” He finally admitted.

You stiffened slightly at this confession, but didn’t look up, continuing your rhythmic movements with the pestle, reaching with your free hand for a small jar of herbs to your left. “I would have thought, your highness, that you would know eavesdropping is impolite.” You murmured.

“It was not my intention, I assure you.” Loki said honestly, his eyes drifting over the contents of one of your open cabinets.

“May I ask what you heard?” You mused coolly, pouring in a few droplets of purified honey.

“You believe yourself to be doomed a spinster.” Loki recalled. “Though you still continue to search for a husband to appease your mother.” You kept your head down as you listened. “That is all in spite what you said to your friend last night.” Loki added.

You stopped your anxious stirring motions now as you were suddenly aware the herbs and berries had long since become purified. “That was all you heard?” You murmured nervously.

“Yes.” He confirmed, “Though your current state of blush makes me almost wish I had arrived sooner…” He teased smoothly.

You felt the heat in your cheeks rise a few more degrees and you shot the prince a scowl over your shoulder. “I am not sure it is wise to torment the person who is helping you, your highness.” You reminded him moodily, and Loki almost seemed to look bashful. “None the less,” You muttered, turning back to your bowl and adding in the last few ingredients, “I thank you for alerting me to flaw in my home, and I shall endeavour to make my door somewhat more sound proof…” You informed him coolly. Loki fell silent after that as you finished the last few steps to the balm, then carried the small bow over the heart that crackled and spat contently. You placed the dish on a aged metal grill that hung above the flames, leaving the contents to simmer, then withdrew, straightening up again. “It will take a few minutes for the heat to solidify it.” You explained to Loki, barely sparing him a glance before you moved back through to the main chamber of the tower.

“I fear I have upset you, my lady.” Loki said lowly, following after you a moment later.

You felt your annoyance dissipate somewhat at the ‘my lady’, remembering who exactly you were talking to. You couldn’t be aloof to a member of the royal family. Especially when his voice was so smooth and soft that it alone was enough to make your muscles melt. You sighed, turning back to him where he lingered by the doorway. “Not at all, your highness.” You shook your head, “I merely -“ You paused, “I spoke those words behind closed doors for a reason,” You explained, “I did not wish for them to be common knowledge.”

“Then let me assure you they shall not be.” Loki declared, stepping towards you.

You eyed him warily. “You will not hold them over me?”

The look on the prince’s face was one of hurt. “You believe me capable of doing such a thing, then you truly do think very little of me.”

“My apologies, my prince.” You murmured ducking your head. “A person hears things…” You said in way of explanation.

“Cruel rumours only.” Loki muttered coldly. “Something I do hope you of all people will put no stock in.”

You glanced up in surprise at the prince’s words and was even more surprised by the almost tender look in his handsome, pale featured. You felt your heart well with hope for even a moment that this man – that Loki Odinson might actually…

You started violently in surprised as a raven suddenly flew through the main open window, flapping noiselessly and cawing in alarm, which in turn set off the rest of the birds until the whole tower was alive with agitated flapping and crowing. You watched the new arrival circle restless around the rafters above you till it was certain it had got your attention then dove down to land gracefully onto your outstretched arm, looking somewhat pleased of the cacophony of noise and distress it had produced. You placed a hand on your chest to collect yourself as the crowing slowly died down around you, your heart still racing ridiculously at the fright, then, out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the red string on the new raven’s leg.

“My apologies.” You said quickly to Loki - who looked just as astonished by the event that had just taken place – before you then hurried over to one of the tables, already working at the string on the bird’s leg which was raised obediently for your ease. Several times the raven went to nibble affectionately at your fingers, but you shooed it away urgently each time until it finally gave you a disgruntled glare and instead stood up rigidly straight, deciding instead to completely ignore you.

You didn’t care though, now pulling off the grubby scroll to find, to your surprise, that it was addressed to the prince behind you. You turned back to Loki, handing him the paper silently and who, in turn, took it without a word, unrolling it and scanning the text briefly.

You watched his face anxiously for any hint as to what the message contained, the worry lines on his face not suggesting for anything good.

“Is it the giants?” You murmured, unable to help it and chewing on your lip. Frost giants had been trying the city’s defences almost continuously over the last few months and you – and other Asgardian citizens – constantly lived in fear of the next attack, the creatures cruel, brutal and merciless.

Loki glanced up in surprise at your question, as though forgetting you were there, then glanced towards the sweet perfume smoke that now issued from the back room. “We may require more of your balm.” He observed gravely in answer. Your heart sank for a moment, before you then steeled yourself, nodding determinedly, and strode quickly back to the bowl nestled over the flames. You pulled it off the metal with an old rag and tossed the dish onto one of the already slightly singed work tables.

One pot of set balm wasn’t going to be enough though.

“How much and where do you need it?” You asked Loki, not bothering with formalities now, knowing there wasn’t time and already gathering all the supplies you had.

He blinked in surprise at your almost military-like tone, but then took on his own determined look. “As much as you can make as quickly as you can make it.” He instructed. “Eastern wall, by the old grave gardens.” You nodded, as you listened, though your mind was already busy counting out what quantities of material you had and how much you could make.

“I know you dislike the alchemist, but even mediocre medicine is better than none.” You told Loki now glancing over your shoulder, “I cannot possibly make enough in time.”

“I will send someone to bring you more resources.” Loki told you and you nodded at this gratefully. “You will be reimbursed.” The prince assured you.

“Do not fret about that now,” You scolded, shaking your head, “Get to where you need to be,” You waved your hand distractedly, ushering him out. “I shall find someone else to help with this.”

Loki surprisingly did as you said without any question – though you couldn’t reflect on this till later – and paused only for a moment in the doorway to note that you had already turned your back on him and begun measuring out berries, before he too turned to find his horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I’m really excited about this series, even if the last thing I should be doing is starting another series. But, I’m really tempted just to knock this whole one out in quick succession if I can - whilst the inspiration still holds - it would mean putting my others on hold for a bit?
> 
> I would still do oneshots and requests etc. but it think the best thing to do with my series is just sit down and write one at a time, and stop mixing up parts, otherwise i lose the storys and the characters?
> 
> I know that’ll mean some series won’t get done for a while, but I might actually finish some series then, what do people think?
> 
> Anyone, yes, this part is done - hope it’s alright! (P.S the end was a bit of a surprise for me too - I hadn’t planned that in so could be interesting….)  
> (I wrote this in a day, so i apologise if there are a bunch of mistakes, I was pretty gone by the time I was done editing haha)


	3. part 2

The place was chaos.

Smoke rose from the buildings – homes and businesses – closest to the large, usually unbreachable wall and you could hear the shattering of glass as windows smashed under heat and brute force. It became apparent to you, upon your arrival, that the hole created in the city’s boundary was not a large one – barely wide enough, in fact, for a single frost giant to scramble through – and yet scramble through they had and still did, only made more clear by the small groups of armoured guards that continually trooped past you, shields already raised as they charged towards the battle. 

The city was lucky really though, the nearby armed patrols had clearly been alerted quickly to the imminent attack and stationed themselves around the crumbling stone before the first giant had shown its ugly head. Now, even after what felt like hours of fighting, though the beasts kept coming, the men were able to keep them largely contained to the cavity they created in the wall. Only a few stronger – perhaps slightly smarter ones – managed to break away, though these were quickly dealt with by a small party of soldiers that had set up a perimeter a few streets up the cobbled roads.

You had arrived once the fight was already in full swing, your limited supply of healing salves and medical skills immediately set to work. You had set up base at the opposite end of a small, open courtyard about five rows of back from the combat. Behind you, a low wall separated you and the courtyard from the graveyard garden, famous to the eastern corner of the Asgard’s city. No bodies lay in this patch of nature, ofc course – that was not the Asgardian way – but amongst the beautiful flowers, shrubbery and well-kept paths and benches, small plaques, trinkets and memorials were scattered - often hidden away from anyone who did not know where to look – all in memory for those now feasting and residing in Valhalla. A place to talk to those no longer on this plane.

It would be a terrible thing for it to be desecrated by the brutes that poured through the city’s weakened defences.

In the back of your mind, you almost considered yourself to be the last line of defence to the beautiful garden beyond, despite your lack of weapon or defence. You had been warned numerous times that it was best for you to move away from area - even forcibly dragged a few steps by some guards before they had been urgently called back to the battle. Each time you had made you refusal loud and clear. This was the best place for you to be to help after all - even if you did feel quite vulnerable this close to the front line without any form of protection.

You murmured a silent prayer to the stone you had left for your grandfather under a weeping willow tree at one of the outer edges of the plot, then bowed your head back to your basket of supplies you had propped on the wall.

Most civilians had cleared from the nearby area by now - you having handed out small pots of the ointment you had made up to those you had noticed with the worst burns and wounds, telling them to pass the remainder to on to anyone they saw that might need it.  

A few people that were limping particularly bad, you had seen to yourself, pulling them into the shelter of a nearby doorway or helping them to the bench next to your bag. You bound their injuries as best you could until a more skill healer could see to them once the - hopefully short - attack was over and the city was able to return to some semblance of normal.

You finished tying off the dressing on an older gentleman’s leg, leaning back from where you knelt and wishing him and his young son good luck as they offered you hurried thanks. The boy kept casting frightened looks back towards the battle noises as the elder steered him hastily away, and you pushed yourself to your feet, offering the small boy a forced, reassuring smile despite your weariness.

Once the child was out of sight, you too glanced back towards the noise, the roars of monsters and shouts of men clear even over the ongoing rumble of falling building structures. You were sweaty, dusty and covered in blood - that largely wasn’t your own - and you couldn’t deny the sounds issuing from the direction of the city’s walls were enough alone to frighten you. As well as that though, it was hard to miss the soldiers that had already been forced to leave the battle – those who had limped or been carried away. Some of the local men had wanted to stay and fight as well – out of some insane pride they seemed to have - despite their lack of weapons or armour – or the protests from the guards. They were, of course, the worst ones hit – the lucky ones being those that merely suffered a strong degree of frostbite.

A frost giant was no easy foe.

But you had tried not to let yourself dwell on any of it too much, instead focusing on being there to aid those who needed you – or at the very least sending someone else if you were already too busy. You didn’t like the current lull in your services, it was giving you too much time to think and you were worried it would all begin to overwhelm you to the point you may even breakdown into a useless mess. You could already feel a warning sting of tears as you stood there, and you felt weak, angrily brushing at your eyes. You didn’t have time to let shock kick in, you might be needed at any moment.

As though to illustrate this, all other sounds were drowned out for a moment by a sudden loud crack – not unlike thunder – and then you thought you saw a figure fly backwards through the air over your head. You were sure you had caught a flap of a red cape, and maybe even a glimpse of a familiar mop of blonde hair, but you couldn’t be sure. You stood in place, stunned, for a moment, before you came back to yourself and quickly reached for you basket of supplies, ready to run to wherever the poor solider had fallen. That wasn’t necessary though, and you were stopped in your tracks as – your previous suspicions confirmed – Thor Odinson now came charging back down the cobbled street directly in front of you, a look of pure loathing on his face.

You were ready to step aside and out of the way of the prince, when a something scarlet on his arm – other than his cape – caught your eye. “Thor!” You cried as loudly as you could, hoping he’d be able to hear you other the noise of battling blades and roaring giants behind. Even if he did though, Thor ignored you, continuing to storm past. You did something which in hindsight might have been completely stupid given who he was and his current temperament – throwing out a hand to catch the burly prince’s arm and attempting to pull him to a stop.

This, however, didn’t go at all according to what you had planned, Thor not even seeming to notice that you had grabbed him. Instead the god continued to stalk on, dragging you - half stumbling and clinging onto his muscular upper arm with both hands - several paces before he realised he was carrying any extra weight. When he did, he glanced down at you, faltering surprise.

“What are you doing women?!” Thor demanded furiously, “Release me!”

“You are injured!” You scowled at his attitude, glancing down at the arm you held and the large gash which you were trying desperately not to touch. Your grip on him didn’t relent though, worried that if you release him he’d simply charge off again.

“Unhand me!” Thor growled, ignoring your reasoning. “I cannot waste time! I must rejoin –“

“Wait –“ You protested desperately as the prince now began to pull away from you, knowing your grip definitely wouldn’t hold against that. “Just-“ You panted at the exertion of digging you heels into the cobble underfoot, trying to hold him back.

“Brother.” Thor suddenly stopped in surprise at the voice, making you stumbled backwards slightly as the force you had been pulling at now stopped, finding yourself hanging off Thor’s arm. You glanced up to where Thor now looked, seeing the other prince now striding quickly down the street appearing to have just come from the battle.

“Why are you not fighting, brother?!” Thor demanded hotly.

“I broke away to look for where you had been thrown.” Loki explained with a frown, not appreciating Thor’s tone, and his brother had the decency to look slightly sheepish, his face lightening somewhat in apology. “Do as the lady says, brother.” Loki said calmly.

Thor’s face darkened determined again now, “I cannot Loki,” He growled, “Those creatures back there threaten _my_ kingdom and many still that have not yet tasted the wrath of my –“

“You can kill a dozen more frost giants today and find yourself bedridden for a month,” Loki pointed out, “Or sit still for a moment, take out a final few and live to be back defending Asgard tomorrow.”

Thor scowled at the logic, though knew him to be right. “Curse your wisdom, brother.” He grumbled, and Loki smirked triumphantly as Thor finally allowed you to lead him to the nearest length of low wall, sitting him down and examining the wound before reaching for your supplies. The gash wasn’t too deep that the god couldn’t return to battle once you were done – not that you would have recommended it, though – but you had a feeling no matter what conclusion you would have drawn, Thor would bear it no heed. He had his heart set only on murdering monsters and demons in that moment - the fire still smouldering behind the blue of his eyes as he stared determinedly down the cobble street towards the noise of the raging conflict that continued without him.

You made Thor sit long enough to apply a layer of your balm to the wound and then wrap it to the best of your abilities in the cleanest linen you could get a hold of. Finally, you allowed the prince to leave and he did so more than eagerly, barely sparing you even a thanks before he charged back down towards the broken wall with an enraged battle cry.

Loki raised an unimpressed eyebrow over his shoulder at Thor as he watched his brother’s back disappearing behind the crumbling buildings. “He is grateful,” Loki assured you, turning back with a small apologetic smile, “Though he does not show it…” He glanced back towards the fight as giant now bellowed in what could only have been interpreted as a cry of pain. “I should best ensure he does not make things any worse for himself - or for Asgard…” The prince now sighed tiredly, turning to follow a lot less enthusiastically after his brother.

“Wait!” You suddenly blurted out, and Loki stopped in surprise, slowly turning back to you with a questioning frown. “M-my prince,” You added, bobbing your head apologetically for your lapse in manners, “I – uh – I noticed your head.” You now pointed up at where you had noticed the scrape against his pale forehead, likely only from a piece of fallen rubble, but bleeding rather profusely none the less.

Loki reached up a hand to touch the wound, examining the blood that came away on his fingers. “It is nothing.” He concluded, brushing it off.

“Please do not make me quote you to yourself, your highness.” You told him, your cheeks warming at your slight cheek, your lips twisting. Loki seemed surprised at your impertinence, but returned your smirk, slowly raising his hands in silent surrender taking a seat on the wall that his brother had vacated so readily only a moment ago. You marvelled slightly at the difference between the two brothers – almost complete opposites, Thor so big and powerful next to Loki’s slight and grace.

You mentally shook yourself back to reality and got to work, the prince’s forehead an interesting place to try to treat as it required you to lean rather closely into him - by far invading the usual personal space boundary for any person – especially where concerning a member of the royal family which should mean, if anything, this margin should have been increased.

You felt the blood rush to your skin with your raising pulse and a measurable thrill ran through you as you couldn’t help but breathe in the scent of his skin – something cool and almost minty mixed with the smoke and sweat that came from battle.

Loki kept incredibly still as you patched him up, but that didn’t make you any less aware of just how close he was, his breath at one point brushing the skin on your arm and making you startle – something you had to quickly hide as an intentional move to brush a strand of hair from your face.

You tried largely though to ignore your body’s oddness though, forcing yourself to focus on your task instead. Up to now you had tried to be sparing in the amount of your salve you used on any one person’s wound, but for the princes you made sure to be generous, even possibly providing over the recommended dosage. It wasn’t that you had intentionally wanted to work sub-optimally on others, merely that you wanted to provide everyone with at least some care with your limited resources. The princes, however, were another matter – if they ended up bedridden with infection, you would be held responsible and you feared the consequences of that greatly.

It was as you were applying a final small square of dressing to the wound that it happened.

There were only a few creatures left at the wall by now, still determined to push their way through despite the number of giants that lay over the cobbles in front of them. Some guards tackled these back, but a few monsters had already managed to scramble over the rubble and were within the city, now engaged in battle with either a small group of soldiers or Thor alone. One of these however, now broke free, having swung its huge barbaric hammer in a single powerful, rage fuelled, stroke to crumple the three armoured men in front of it like they were no more than children’s toys.

In a moment of brains for what you had been taught as a relatively mindless creature, the giant turned its cold eyes down the street towards where you and Loki were - your back still to the battle as you now replaced your equipment in your basket and Loki’s gaze on your movements. The monster released an unearthly roar before it then charged - with a speed that could only be seen as terrifyingly fast for such a heavy creature - ignoring the spears and swords that pierced its thick icy hide either side as other soldiers tried to bring it down before it got too far.

Loki noticed the creature dashing towards the two of you over your shoulder before your brain could even start to comprehend the change in volume of the familiar roar. In a movement so you’re your mind could fathom it straight away, Loki had wrapped one arm around your waist and pulled you around to his side. In the same moment, he used his other hand to conjure a sword in a shimmer of gold, already plunging his arm upwards before it had fully materialised, ramming the newly formed blade straight under the blue monster’s ribcage and into its frozen heart.

The giant let out a strangled cry of surprise before its weapon fell from its hand, its body slumping forward over the blade requiring all of Loki’s strength to keep the large creature from falling on you. He braced himself and cried out as he roughly shoved it away, the sword in its chest vanishing as it fell. What neither of you had factored in though, was the long, icy arm that followed its owner’s movements and now swung out towards you. You couldn’t help the cry that escaped your lips as you instinctively lifted your up to protect your face, gasping as the large dinnerplate-sized hand collided into you, the weight knocking you to the floor and making you land painfully on your hip, the back of your hands stinging. You were lucky to have another presence of mind to curl yourself up into a foetal position as you hit the floor because, a moment later, the giant’s arm thudded onto the cobble stones above you.

“[Y/N]!” You heard Loki’s voice above you, anxious and urgent, but your eyes stared wide at the huge dead monster in front of you, its blue skin reflecting like diamonds – or ice – in the daylight sun. “My lady, are you alright? Are you hurt?” He crouched down next to you and his light touch on your arm brought you back to yourself. You pushed yourself up quickly shaking your head, though tears of shock prickled in your eyes. Then something caught your eye.

“Oh, no!” You gasped in horror and Loki urgently begged what the matter was, his eyes scanning over you hastily for any sign of broken bones or severe skin burns from the giant’s freezing touch. “The balm, Loki, I’m sorry!“ You practically sobbed, your eyes on the shattered dish, the contents now sprayed over the cobbles and mixed with dirt. Each drop was so precious at the moment, had could you have been so clumsy?! “I didn’t mean to –“

Loki blinked, glancing at the ruined bowl before turning back to you with a confused frown. “You are not hurt –“

You shook your head quickly, dismissing his concerns. “I’m sorry, your highness, I know we are ration as it is - “ You exclaimed, till a hand on your shoulder made you jump – your frazzled nerves half having expected another giant to be behind you - and immediately breathed a sigh of relief when it was only Loki.

The prince didn’t miss the fear that flashed in your eyes in that moment though, now getting to his feet and offering his hand to you. You took it, blushing profusely when you realised just how silly you might have sounded after having nearly been killed, but you couldn’t a last sorrowful look at the ruined ointment.

“You truly are pure, aren’t you?”

“I beg your pardon, your highness?” You asked, blinking in surprise as you snapped your gaze back to Loki, his eyes on your face as, frowning as though he was both surprised and confused by you.

“You were nearly crushed to death by a frost giant moments ago, and yet you are worried about everyone else but yourself…” He shook his head in amazement, “None of whom are even in immediate danger.” He added sounding half amused and exasperated by you.

“Well, I – uh -” You ducked your head sheepishly realising just how ridiculous it probably was, “I just –“ You faltered, unable to find the words to try and explain something you simply couldn’t explain to the prince. You kept your eyes down, but lifted your head and, just as you went to speak, any words you had found were quickly swallowed as Loki’s lips suddenly met yours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think :)


	4. Part 3

You had practically gasped into Loki’s lips at the surprise, but the prince hadn’t faltered, something almost determined in the kiss’s intensity. It stunned you almost completely motionless for a moment before you tentatively began to kiss him back, closing your eyes and tilting your head up so your lips could move more easily together. 

The prince tasted almost like he had smelt – something cool and minty, yet with the slight addition of something metallic – likely due to one of the numerous blows he had sustained whilst fighting. You felt one of Loki’s hands now move to cup your face gently as the other now pressed on your back, urging you forward and closer to him. You let yourself yield to the pressure, taking a step forward and leaning into him until you were practically pressed against him, your hands on his armoured chest.

As the hunger in the kiss mounted, your lips parting, you wished to touch Loki like he touched you, wanted to feel the coolness of his skin under your own fingers. You used a moment of courage to hesitantly slip one of your hands to the prince’s shoulder, then up his neck, feeling the muscles flex. A few strands of Loki’s dark hair fell forward, brushing against your skin and you had the urge to feel it softness now, cautiously running your hands higher and through the dark locks now. You curled your fingers –

“Ah!” You hissed in agony, a sharp pain stabbing you in the back of your hand and forcing a cry from your lips. Loki pulled back abruptly as you winced and quickly withdrew your hand, ducking your head in pain and embarrassment, your cheeks red hot. You quickly went to rub your hand at the source of the pins-and-needle-like sting - in your head, almost certain it just some weird cramp-like sensation that truly couldn’t have come at a worse time - but quickly recoiled with another gasp when the skin beneath your fingertips was icy cold and incredibly painful to the touch.

“Let me see.” Loki commanded firmly above you, and you didn’t fight as he now reached for your hand, gently pulling it out and away from where you held it close to your body. He held it lightly, turning and shifting it gently as he examined every aspect of your skin, then held it still again as he now raised his other hand, running it carefully over the source of your pain, never quite touching you, but low enough that you could feel his palm brushing the hairs on your skin.

What you did not fail to notice, however, was that the prince’s touch – usually so chilled against your own body’s warmth - now felt like as though it was almost radiating heat as it swept over your hand.

“Frostbite.” Loki finally declared, then reached for your other hand, noticing them same on the back of this one as well - though the damage perhaps confined to a smaller area. “It is where the giant touched you.” He informed you gravely. That made sense - everyone knew that even the slightest, briefest touch of a frost giant’s skin could cause a degree of frostnip. What truly concerned you now though was the pain in your hand was already ebbing away but, in its place - now you were aware of your condition – you could almost feel the coldness spreading and your hand beginning to numb.

Despite this realisation, you found it difficult to do much more than stare stupidly at your hand and it’s diminishing sensation. “My lady, you need treatment,” Loki urged, “without it you may well lose –“

“I know, your highness,” You murmured down at your hands where Loki still held them, “but –“ _the battle,_ you thought – your balm, your medical skills. You were supposed to be helping others, not yourself.

“The battle can carry on without your aid.” The prince told you sternly, reading your face, “Your duty was to provide the supplies, you have done so. There are others that can apply it without risking the loss of their hands.” Loki stated firmly, squeezing your hands gently, though you could barely even register the pressure now. “Where is the nearest place to be treated?”

“The raven tower most likely, my prince.” You confessed, not bothering to fight him when you knew he was right. Your little back room should have most of the supplies you would need and a fire already stoked and ready.

“Then go.” He insisted firmly, giving your hand another affirming squeeze “I would accompany you, but I should return to my brother…” He cast a reluctant look back towards the wall where you had almost forgotten the fight continue to rage, your mind having reduced the battle noises to nothing but simple background noise now.

“Oh course,” You shook your head, dispelling the notion. “There is no need for you to escort me, your highness, I am more than capable.” You assured him. “ _Go_.” You insisted with an earnest nod when the prince continued to linger, still holding your hands in his.

He gave you a weak, apologetic smile, before finally releasing your hands. “I hope to see you in good health on our next meeting.” You were too stunned by the promise of a ‘next meeting’ that you didn’t manage to get out your own farewell, simply watched as the prince now turned and strode away, before he broke into a jog as he ran back towards the battle. Your eyes staying on him till he vanished behind the smoking rubble of buildings, wishing for a glance back at you that never came, then you drop your eyes with a sigh, staring back down at your hands again.

You didn’t know what had made the prince kiss you – or indeed, what had made you kiss him back - but logic told you it must have been some form of adrenaline rush from the near death encounter the two of you had experienced.

Your heart, of course, told you something completely different.

You stamped that trail of though down straight away though, knowing that right now the icy grip on your hands was far more important than debating the kiss with yourself and you could deal with your stubborn, foolish heart later.

 

* * *

It was late that evening - once the sun had been fully set for over an hour, and long since the last giant had been declared dead - that there was a knock at your tower door.

You had spent the hours leading up to this tending to your injuries to the best of your abilities and limited resources, now you’d set your bandaged hands to work - keeping them busy to ensure the blood continually flowed through your chilly veins and limited the risk of tissue damage. It wasn’t like you didn’t have anything to do after all - your rooms were a complete mess after the rush of the morning’s production line of healing balm, and numerous messages had flown in whilst you had been away at the wall, that now required either being sent on or arrange for courier collection on the following morning.

The knock, therefore, had startled you just as you were scrubbing that last stains of crushed berries from the table in the back room of the tower’s main chamber. For a moment, your heart leapt at the idea that maybe - just maybe – it could have been Loki, who, now that the battle was long since over, had decided it to be a good time to check in on your condition.

That idea, of course, was quickly dashed however, when you pulled open the heavy chamber door only to find Yuliya stood at the top of the tower’s staircase.

You tried not to let your face fall.

“Well this is a surprise.” You stated, standing aside to let the girl in, who immediately began to shrug off her shawl as soon as she was over the threshold - apparently planning to stay for a while. “And by that, of course - dear Yuli - I mean I am surprise it took you so long.” You smirked at her back now moving into the room after her, securely closing the door behind you and dropping the deadbolt.

“Well I confess, I would have been here sooner,” Yuliya sighed tiredly, “but – as you’ve most likely heard - all citizens have been required to confine themselves to their homes after the giant attack.”

“Is that curfew not still in place?” You pointed out, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

“Well, _yes…”_ Yuliya now confessed reluctantly, tossing her shawl onto one of the worktables in the centre of the room. “But you and I both know that it is merely for show – no giants will attack tonight, the city’s too alerted.” She reminded you. “Besides, most of the guards have retired for the night – well expect those for those who would be on duty _anyway_. They know as well as you and I, there is no danger.”

“I would watch that,” You pointed at Yuliya’s shawl, “You know what they are like.” You nodded towards the wall where the roosting ravens croaked, lost completely to the darkness of the tower’s recesses now in the fading light. Yuliya snapped it up quickly, holding it close to her chest for a moment as though one of the birds might swoop down and steal it, then quickly tucked it under the old worn cushion a nearby stool. “Trust you to break curfew just for some gossip.” You smirked, returning to the subject at hand.

“Well, it could be seen that, seeing as I am now here, I am not at all breaking curfew.” She shrugged, casting you a look that held a mischievous twinkle and you couldn’t help the loud laugh that escaped your lips. It felt good, that laugh, it was loud and rather unladylike, but it seemed to ease some of the tension that the day had placed upon you.

“What’s gotten into you?” Yuliya giggled along with you, turning to face you completely now, not having missed the change from this morning. Then her eyes suddenly caught the bandages wrapped around both your hands. “And what happened?” She said asked more urgently, moving towards you now, her hands reaching for yours. You obediently held them out so she took them, her hands soft and cautious on yours, turning them over as though she could see through the bandages at the injury beneath and you were briefly reminded of Loki’s scrutinization earlier.

“I was at the wall.” You confessed.

“Where the giants attacked?!” Yuliya cried, her grip on you tightening and you winced slightly. “Dear gods, [Y/N], why? Is that why you are hurt?!” She demanded, now towing you towards the fire which you had naturally been gravitating towards all evening in an attempt to keep your hands warm. Your friend pushed you onto the stool you had at the hearth, then grabbed the spare one she hid her shawl under earlier, pulling it opposite you.

“It is not that bad, Yuliya.” You reassured her, shaking your head. “The letter about the attack came for the prince whilst he was here. I - I - couldn’t just sit here whilst he ran off to help!” You insisted, shaking your head again, looking down at your hands where they now rested on your lap.

“Of course, you could not…” Yuliya muttered, rolling her eyes in exasperation, “So you went with Loki then?”

“No,” You shook your head, explaining what happened. “I do not know where Loki went,” You confessed, “He most likely went to alert the guards and find his brother…”

“And your hands?” Yuli urged, her eyes glancing anxiously to them as though the bandages might suddenly start soaking through with blood.

“Frostbite.” You admitted, now reluctantly confessing about the giant attack, though you knew Yuli wouldn’t take it well. “I have caught it quickly though, it should not much more than blister – no flesh loss.” You assured her.

Yuliya made a face at the mention of losing flesh, shuddering. “Oh gods, [Y/N], you always do manage to get yourself into the worst of some situations.”

“Yuliya was else was I to do, I –“

“Self-preservation!” Your friend exclaimed almost hysterically, “ _[Y/N],”_ She stressed, “look, I, I _know_ you wish to do good with your life out of a misplaced guilt about what your rune may mean, but –“

“Yuli –“

“No listen,” She growled firmly, not allowing you to interrupt this time. “You are my dearest friend – by gods, the only _true_ friend I have, [Y/N]! And if that giant – if that giant –“ She suddenly broke down into sobs, hiding her face behind one of her hands. You were off your stool in a flash, throwing your arms around Yuli and pulling her into you. “I just – I need you to be safe, ok?” She sobbed, her voice muffled as she spoke into the fabric of your dress.

“Ok.” You murmured, stroking the top of her head comfortingly

“Do not ‘ok’, me, [Y/N].” She scowled, pulling away from you to glare red eyed up at your surprised face. “Because I _know_ you - you shall say ok now, but I am not foolish! I know if there is a poor creature in a well tomorrow, or another hoard of giants threatens some citizens,” She threw up her arms as she spoke, “Well, you shall be right there again, will you not? With your basket of remedies and golden heart!” She cried, “But _[Y/N]_ ,” She insisted desperately, grabbing your hands again and you flinched at her touch, “You do not _have_ to,” Yuliya pressed earnestly, “– you _can not_ rescue everyone, yes? Especially not if it gets _you_ hurt! I do not want to – I can not -,” She stressed, “I can not live without you, do you understand?”

You didn’t know what to say at this heartfelt proclamation, unable to tear your eyes away from Yuliya’s face - from the pain etched into her eyes and every line on her skin. For a moment you almost wished you simply weren’t friends - merely because you simply couldn’t bare the fact that you were the one who had put her through that worry - through that fear.

You had never stopped to consider, even for a moment, of the unease or apprehension that your actions might provoke in others – others that cared about you. In Yuliya, really. But, it hit you truly now, that the reality was, all the apparently ‘selfless’ acts you had ever done in your life were actually the most selfish things you had ever done. All simply born out of a deep guilt that had weighed on since you discovered the meaning of the symbol around your neck. A guilt for something that had yet to even pass.

But still, you could not help it, you had to make up for your rune.

Yuliya laughed sadly at the look on your face, able to read another of your thoughts from that alone. “Look,” She sniffed, having managed to calm herself somewhat, “I know you won’t stop being a saint,” She confessed with a weak laugh, “but could you - could you just think about _you_ a bit more?” She insisted, “Just think… Is this going to get me killed? And – and if the answer is even close to a yes, please reconsider? Just for a second? Just for me?” She pleaded. “I know that it is selfish to ask such a thing, but just – just that slight pause of thought – it – it would make me a little bit more at ease.”

You gave Yuliya a small smile and nodded. “There is nothing selfish in your request, _I_ was the selfish one to you.” You apologised. “I owe you this much and so much more.”

She gave you a weak smile in return. “Thank you.” She said earnestly, pulling you back into a hug.

“Ok.” Yuliya breathed deeply, pulling herself back together as the two of you parted. “So.” She declared as you moved back to perch on your stool again, subtly moving your hand towards the flames. “Tell me what else happened.” You raised an eyebrow at her. “Do not look at me like that, and do not think that you managed to hide the disappointment that was on your face when it was me behind the door.” Yuliya smirked at you knowingly. You couldn’t help the blush that rose on your cheeks at realising you had been caught red handed and Yuli’s eyes lit up. “[ _Y/N].”_ She warned when you remained quiet.

You didn’t see the point in hiding it from her, especially now it was so obvious that you were. “The prince kissed me.”

The look on Yuliya’s face was priceless and you almost wished you could have framed it. “Loki?!” You nodded, and your friend looked close to falling off her chair as now she leant towards you in disbelief.

“He kissed me,” You repeated, still nodding. “He kissed me!” You said again, as though needing to confirm it to your disbelieving mind. You weren’t able to help the wide Cheshire-like grin that spread across your face now as you pushed yourself to your feet again, finding it impossible to sit still as the thrill of the memory ran through you again. You still couldn’t believe it.

Yes, of course as much joy as it brought, it also brought questions - worries – doubts – but overall though, neither your head nor you heart could seem to get past the fact that Loki – the love of your life – had actually _kissed_ you.

“Wait, [Y/N], I do not – I do not mean this the wrong way, but – why? Why did he kiss you?!”

And just like that, your happy bubble had popped once again. You tilted your head back to stare up at the dark shadows of the tower’s roof above where neither candle not firelight managed to reach. “I don’t _know_.” You groaned, maddened. You’d been running the event - and the moments leading up to it - over and over again in your mind and you didn’t understand any of it – any of the day at all if you were truly honest with yourself.

Why _had_ Loki arrived at the tower with a request for you of an ointment he could easily had prepared himself? Was it truly pure coincidence that it had been that day after you had sworn you’d given up with establishing any type of romance with him? – And moments after you had confessed your decision to give up on any marriage altogether?

What had he meant when he said he hadn’t wanted you to think badly of him – were you just reading too much into that comment? Had he simply been being polite?

And why, in all of the god’s names, had the prince _kissed_ you?!

“Wait, [Y/N],” Yuliya’s voice dragged you out of your thoughts and you glanced back to her from where your eyes had drifted to the fire, “What you said earlier this morning…” You frowned at her in question. “About never – you know - marrying…?” She reminded you, “Well, do you – do you still believe that you mean it?”

“Believe that I mean it?” You frowned, annoyed. “Yuliya I fully meant it then and I fully mean it now.” You growled firmly.

“But, [Y/N], a _prince_ just kissed you –“ Yuli insisted

“That _prince,”_ You scowled, “is also a well-known trickster, scoundrel –“

“-And the love of your life.” Your friend finished for you.

You glared at her. “We’ve been through this – my rune, I – I can not, Yuliya – the – the kiss…” You shook your head, dropping your gaze to your lap. “It meant nothing I am sure of it –“ Even if you didn’t want to believe it  “We had both just been attacked, it was most likely adrenaline –“ You continued, trying to reason the whole thing through in your mind, the mention of possibly marrying the prince having completely thrown you off balance. You continued to shake your head, almost as though to try to shake away the thoughts - the hopes. “Even if it didn’t… – no.” You said simply.

“But – “

“Yuliya, no.” You growled, snapping your head up to her again. You immediately regretted your bark though, dropping your eyes in apology, your face softening. You had been directed the words at Yuliya, but you also felt them directed at yourself – at your foolishly romantic heart. You needed to hear the hard truth.

Yuliya now carefully stood from her stool and you glanced up at her, your eyes seeking forgiveness, worried she was going to grab her shawl and walk out on you. She didn’t meet your eyes, but she didn’t leave, instead moving towards you, walking behind you and draping her arms around your neck in a comfortable gesture that showed you there were no hard feelings. “Please, [Y/N],” She insisted earnestly, at your ear, “Listen to me if only for a moment?” You sniffed to show you were listening and you caught the small smile she gave you. “Ok,” She hummed, pulling back from you, catching your hair that fell free around your shoulders and pulling it back behind your shoulders. “Maybe the kiss meant nothing – “ She mused, running her hands through your hair soothingly.

“I know it didn’t.” You muttered sullenly.

Yuliya ignored your comment, squeezing your shoulder in reassurance - and to remind you to listen. “And I _know,_ ” She said, cutting you off as you went to open your mouth again, “That you do not wish to marry the prince even if it did.” She assured you, combing her fingers back through your hair again till it lay straight and smooth against your back. “But _[Y/N],”_ Yuli insisted desperately, “Have some _fun_!” She exclaimed, now flicking your neatly laid hair so it flew up into the air, some falling over your shoulders, some over the top of your hair and into your face. You couldn’t help it as let out another burst of laughter again at your ridiculous friend.

“What was that?” You chuckled up at Yuliya as she now stepped around you with a wide grin.

“Fun.” She answered simply. “Look,” She took your bandaged hands again now, her face sobering up as she squeezed them gently so not to hurt you. “No one says that, just because you can not marry a man, that you can not enjoy a few days with him.” She pointed out reasonably and You frowned at her. She rolled her eyes at your confusion. “[Y/N], if you are truly to _never_ marry, then surely you deserve some _fun_ at some point, do you not?” She grinned. Her meaning sunk in that time and you scowled playfully at her, pulling one hands free from her hold to bat her arm playfully.

She giggled, but you could see there was something truly honest behind what she suggested.

“ _If_ he mentions it again,” You held up a finger to her, “ _If_ he suggests such a thing, I may…. _consider_ it,” You allowed slowly with a nod of your head. “ _But,”_ You said quickly as Yuliya grinned mischievously at you. “I doubt that today was any more than the product of a near death experience and the both of us merely being grateful to be alive.” You reminded her.

“I only ask that you see.” Yuliya assured you, holding up her hands in innocence as she took a step back from you.

You eyed her suspiciously but didn’t say anymore. “I take it you are staying the night?” You asked, as pushed yourself off your own stool.

Yuliya just smirked at your quick change of subject, knowing that you already knew the answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me what the ending of this part is, and I cannot tell you haha I write some random scenes sometimes…
> 
> More Loki in the next part, I promise!
> 
> Hope you enjoy - this series had been quite quiet so far, so I hope it is ok?


	5. Part 4

Loki did not show that night, nor the next or the one after.

Not that you were waiting for him, of course. Not at all, you had assured Yuliya, who had in turned merely watched you in amusement though said nothing.

What you were waiting for instead, you told yourself, was for the number of messages arriving by your ravens to die down. Since the attack they came in high mass and frequency to the point you managed to find little time in your day to do much than tend to them and the notes they carried. Definitely not enough time – or at least not enough time at a reasonable hour - to leave for the market place a few streets west of your tower.

You just prayed there would be no call for your services in the meantime as your backroom’s supply cupboard was looking depressingly empty and you doubt you could make much more than the most basic concoctions from the remnants of your stores. Yuliya had, of course, offered to go for you, but you knew the precise nature of alchemy and the importance of the quality of those ingredients used. A bay leaf was just a bay lead if the green hue had already begun to fade – a froghort mushroom just another mushroom if the cap had started to turn waxy. In the nicest way, you couldn’t trust Yuliya with this task – she just didn’t have the necessary knowledge. Alchemy was a deeply personal and suggestive craft in your own opinion.

It wasn’t until the following week that the raven communications finally died down enough for you to justify being able to take an afternoon away from your usual duties. Yuli was just as eager to see you leave the tower as you were - more than happy to accompany you and acting as though she too had been just as locked up in the tower as you had - though you had frequently made it clear she was free to come and go as she pleased.

And that was why you now found yourself strolling through the busy crowds of the Asgard’s main market at noon, Yuliya’s arm linked in yours and a basket hung on your other arm.

There were only a few hours left until the stalls would close - and with your luck, everything you needed would already be gone - but you had not felt more relaxed in the last week then you did strolling through the familiar streets, people chatting contently around you, the air unseasonably warm whilst red and gold autumnal leaves crunched under your feet. The scene was almost picturesque and showed no signs of any tensions after the previous week’s attack.

Of course, it  _was_ still in the back of people’s minds – though thankfully there had been no fatalities – but enough time seemed to have passed now for civilians to no longer be hurrying the streets between chores, rushing to return to the safety of their homes. No, now people were lingering, happy to stop and chat to an old neighbour or friend – you had caught a few people’s eyes and been forced to pause and briefly catch up – something you couldn’t begrudge.

It was whilst you were at one of your old favourite stalls – a small pop up shop owned by a small, older man called Knut who you knew to scour the wilderness around the city walls for herbs and plants unable to be grown in the carefully cultivated Asgardian gardens – that you heard your name called behind you.

At first you didn’t hear it – or perhaps the more logical side of your brain simply dismissed it as you having misheard – and instead continued your conversation with Knut, listening intently to his gossip about what the leaves of the old willow out by the Western lake had told him. This had, of course, sounded odd to you the first time Knut had mentioned the shrubbery’s whispering, but you had soon learnt that this was how the little man voiced his opinions or knowledge on the city’s gossip - of which he knew plenty somehow - as so now you were always eager to listen.

When Knut’s words faded out from his dry lips, his aged eyes widening and Yuliya began to tug on your arm desperately, you finally seemed to hear – “Lady [Y/N].”

You had turned to frown at Yuliya in question, but instead now turned fully around to find Loki weaving his way through the market crowd who – on quickly recognising the prince pushing past them – hastily cleared a path. Loki barely seemed to notice this however, his eyes only on where you stood, watching his approach with no attempt to hide your surprise.

“Your - your highness.” You stammered out a greeting, dropping into a curtsey and tugging Yuliya down with you thanks to where she still clung to your arm. Knut bobbed multiple short hasty bows behind the two of you. Loki offered you a small smile, nodding politely first to you, then to Yuli and Knut in formal greeting as you all now straightened back up.

“My apologies, Lady [Y/N]” Loki said sincerely, only addressing you now, “I had meant to seek you out earlier than this to check on your condition,” His eyes flickered to your hands briefly, “but I am afraid I have been waylaid at every turn. Please forgive me.”

“Not at all, my prince.” You shook your head with a small twist of your lips. “My forgiveness is necessary – you were under no obligation to pay me a visit and it is not at all as though I expected it.” You told him, then felt Yuli squeeze your arm at this lie and you wondered if it would be possible to somehow discretely elbow her.

“Either way, my lady, know that I wanted to.” Loki insisted earnestly. “And allow me  _now_ to enquire into the condition of your injuries.” His eyes flickered back to your hands. You felt your cheeks warm at his gaze and Yuliya applied pressure to your arm again, barely able to contain her own excitement. You glanced down at your hands where they, and your bandages, were hidden safely in a pair of mittens. You looked slightly ridiculous in the warm weather which hardly called for thick wool, but it provided an extra layer of protection that should speed up the healing process.

“Healing, I assure you.” You promised, now holding your gloved hands out, rolling them for his inspection.  

“That is good to hear.” Loki smiled genuinely, then he seemed to notice the basket handing on your forearm. “You are shopping, of course?” He ventured, nodding at the hamper.

“Uh – yes,” You glanced down, also now remembering the empty basket at your hip, “- yes, your highness.” You nodded, also remembering the still rather empty basket at your hip. “I am – uh - restocking my cabinets,” You informed him, “I – I have yet to find a spare moment since last weeks…  _events_.” You explained, keeping your head down.

“Ah yes, I assured you payment for your services.” Loki now recalled.

“Oh, no, my prince,” You said quickly, “there really is no need!” Your cheeks were burning now, not having mean to bring it up in an attempt to remind him of the money he owed you – in fact you had completely forget his previous promise to reimburse you.

“No, I shan’t hear it.” Loki dismissed firmly, “My ladies, will you please allow me to accompany the two of you now and see that the rest of your supplies are paid for – out of my own pocket if necessary.”

“I – uh - surely you have better things to do –“ You tried to suggest, glancing worriedly at Yuliya who seemed equally surprised at the offer.

“On the contrary, my lady, I have purposely snuck away from the palace to avoid those so called ‘better’ things.” Loki lips twisted, “My duties have confined me to the palace for too many days and I would relish the opportunity for some fresh air and fresh company.”

You opened your mouth to protest again, though you could find no words and turned your eyes back to Yuliya in silent help, only to find her glaring at you in a way that simply told you to silence yourself and accept it. After making a few more unintelligible noises as you sought an excuse, you conceded, finally nodding acceptance of the prince’s offer. “Thank you, your highness,” You mumbled, your eyes on the cobblestones at your feet, “that – that would be very kind.”

Loki insisted on paying for the herbs that Knut had now silently bagged up behind you, and you agreed reluctantly before the three of you then moved on, Loki in centre, you one side and Yuliya the other.

“You are certain your hands shall make a complete recovery?” Loki asked politely again after a few paces, breaking what you feared would become a very awkward silence. You appreciated his concern, and – even more so – his attempt to make conversation.

“All well, my Prince, I assure you.” You smiled shyly, briefly glancing to his face before dropping your eyes again. “Thanks to you, your highness, I was able to catch it quickly.” You explained, “There are merely only blisters now - no lasting damage other than a few marks.”

He frowned, almost surprised “And that does not concern you – the marks?” He clarified.

“No, your highness.” You shook your head, glancing briefly at your mittens again. “My – my hands are already marked from potions and talons,” You lips twisted into a humourless smirk, “- there is no place for beauty in my work.” You admitted soberly, though there was no trace of regret in your voice.

You truly didn’t mind the flaws that were forever marked into your skin - what need did you have, after all, to be perfect?

“Very honest.” Loki commended with a nod, now turning his gaze away from you and back to the path your little group walked. “Most women I have spoken with always appeared overly obsessed with their own perfections…” He mused.

“Yes, well, I find it difficult to be obsessed with something I do not have.” You murmured, not having missed how your heart had dropped at the prince’s mention of other women.

Loki glanced back to you, looking almost amused by your statement. “If you do not accept your external appearance as perfection - though I assure you it is – will you at least allow yourself the credit of the perfection in and of your heart?” He posed.

You blushed hotly, “Your highness, I –“

“Loki, please.” He insisted kindly.

“ _Loki_ ,” You stressed your correction with a shy smile, glancing up at the prince, “Only a complete stranger would call someone’s heart perfect.” You stated with a slight smirk. “And I do hope you are not a  _complete_  stranger.”

The prince quirked a brow in question at this and you glanced away, looking to the stalls on your left where Loki was not. “There is darkness in everyone I fear, it is merely how hard we fight it that determines what another sees.” You murmured in explanation, “We can all make up for dark thoughts, after all, but it is harder to make up for dark actions.”

“That is very beautifully said.”

You bobbed your head in thanks, but did not turn your gaze back, your mind preoccupied in thought as a silence fell between you and the prince again. You tried to pull yourself out of your head – to focus on the stalls you were passing – but you felt no desire to stop at any of them now.

“I do believe your friend seems to have vanished.” Loki suddenly said, jolting you out of the trap of your mind. You made yourself glance past the prince to where Yuliya should have been stood, though you were certain you knew what you would see.

“Oh yes.” You murmured, noting the empty space beside him and now casting your eyes around the immediate area, scanning the stalls and crowds. You weren’t at all surprised that Yuli would pull something like this and you doubted she was actually that far away, most likely hidden in plain sight and watching your every move.

You would chide her later, you thought as you glared disapprovingly into the nearest cluster of stalls, sure she would be able to see you somehow. That was, of course, if the girl was brave enough to return to the tower and face you after this little stunt.

Right now, though, you had to deal with the fact you were now completely alone – other than the bustling crowds around you - with Loki. You glanced back at him, offering a weak smile in apology, “I am afraid I do not know where my friend has gone,” You confessed, “She is always doing something like this so perhaps it is best to simply carry on.”

“Of course.” Loki agreed with a small bow of his head, “May I suggest we actually buy something?” He smirked lightly, his greens eyes glinting with amusement and you felt your cheeks colour again.

“Of course.” You murmured, now leading the way forward, Loki following just slightly behind, as you headed to the nearest manuka stall.

You tried to ignore the eyes on you as you shopped, though everyone around you seemed enthralled by the trickster prince and his socialising – exceeding politely by his standards - with a girl they classed as one of their own and not his usual company of higher-ranking ladies. If didn’t already know you as [Y/N], the kind soul that cared for the raven messengers and offered basic medical care, they might have wondered if you were something a lot more distasteful - something that they honestly would not have been too surprised to hear that this particular prince partook in.

And so, the question of the two of you remained open to pondering for all those who walked by you. You did your best to avoid their stares and block your ears to their whispering suggests though - certain you’d hear them from Yuliya on the morrow anyway – and instead kept your eyes directly ahead of you, or on Loki, neither of which you particularly begrudged, and you almost started to find yourself relaxing with the prince next to you.

“The path ahead appears busy.” Loki now observed, nodding forward, “Would you allow me the honour of taking my arm so that we do not become separated?” Loki asked, offering out his arm for you.

You glanced ahead where he had indicated in surprise, fighting the smirk on your lips when you realised the path looked no different to what the two of you had been walking previously.

“The honour would me all mine, your highness.”  You murmured nonetheless, now gently taking his arm. The smile on Loki’s face seemed honest, even seemed to reach his eyes, but you couldn’t let yourself believe it. You just couldn’t.

Loki didn’t release you for the rest of the afternoon as you continue to visit each shop and, by the time the two of you had reached the end of the market your basket was considerably heavier – though not perhaps as heavy as it should have been – and the majority of sellers were packing their remaining merchandise away, the crowds largely having filtered away.

You weren’t sure if it was the heavily fruited mead Loki had insisted on buying for the two of you, but you didn’t want to your stroll with the prince to end, and you were pleasantly surprised to note that Loki showed no signs of wanting to pull away either.

Instead, Loki led you out of the market street and down one of the slowly darkening alleys as the sun was dropping in the sky and you bit back a nervous grin.

“May I – may I ask you a question?” You called up to Loki, finally daring to broach the subject.

Loki’s steps slowed so he fell in step next to you again, glancing at you in surprise. “Certainly.” He agreed, though you thought you heard something slightly guarded in his voice now.

“We – we have avoided the subject all afternoon,” You observed, “but the attack last week - the giants.” You beseeched “Is there nothing to be done?”

Loki let out a quiet sigh, folding his free arm behind his back, “Trust you, my lady, to be thinking of such of such a sobering subject on such an evening.” You blushed and mumbled an apology, surprised when Loki went on to answer your question anyway. “It would seem all the attacks are random,” He admitted, “- that the beasts seem to have no plan once inside the city expect to rampage - that they do not seem to even be concerned if could not breach.” He told you gravely.

You pulled Loki to a stop, glancing up at his face in concern. “Like they are testing the walls?” You assumed.

“Indeed.” Loki murmured down at you, seeming both surprised and impressed.

“That does not sound good.” You muttered.

“No, it isn’t.” Loki agreed, turning back ahead again and pulling you back down the street. “It makes it damn near impossible to predict where or when they may strike next,” He explained, “It also may suggest a possibly larger plan is a foot…”

A thought suddenly occurred to you, “Should you really be telling me all this?” You asked glancing across at the prince again, slightly amused. The two of you now walked along a small arching stone bridge, the streets either side having quietened with the descending darkness, and Loki pulled you to the stop in the centre and released your arm.

“Most likely not.” The prince admitted, his lip twitching and a twinkle in his eye. “But I  _wanted_  to, and I shan’t tell a soul if you do not.” He winked. “And, after all,” Loki murmured, glancing out over the river, “You so seem to hold a genuine concern for this city - and are genuinely smart enough to understand its politics…” He mused.

You blushed in the evening light. “Now allow me to ask a question?” You glanced up from where you too had been watching the surface of the water, now finding Loki’s eyes on your face again.

“O-Of course, your highness.” You murmured quietly with nod and Loki regarded you with amusement at your lapse back into formalities thanks to your nerves.

“Your tower.” He stated, “Can I ask why you chose it? I can understand your need for a career after you explained your parents and their fortune, but why such an isolated existence?” He asked, clearly intrigued.

You turned your eyes back to the water which had streaks of gold in it from the setting sun. “My grandfather was the raven keeper before me.” You confessed, only slightly surprised that the prince hadn’t known – or maybe he had and simply asked only out of politeness. “I would visit the tower all the time to help him out and my grandfather would always be so happy – tell me that I had a way with the birds.” You smiled at the memory. “He – he died a few years back, just after I left the palace.” Your eyes flickered to Loki’s briefly, “It – it seemed silly to me for the city to train up a new apprentice from scratch when I already knew everything my grandfather had done, and the birds already trusted me…” You shrugged.

“Besides,” You said glancing down at where your hands rested on the stone wall of the bridge. “I like it.” Loki nodded in understanding. “What about you, if I may ask,” You murmured uncertainly, glancing up at Loki who seemed to look at you encouragingly “- it is not entirely the same question, but I wanted to ask, why king? Why do you not merely sit back and allow your brother to take the throne?”

“You believe him worthier.” It wasn’t a question and it almost sounded accusing, Loki stiffening next to you.

“That is not what I said, nor what I asked, your highness.” You pointed out just as unwilling to answer as he was.

Loki sighed, tiredly, “I wish for a fair chance is all.” He stated, “I believe my brother can be too impulsive and headstrong - too ready for a fight where there may be no need for one.” He explained. “He is a good soldier, do not get me wrong, but that does not always mean a good king.” You nodded in understanding at this. “My father –“ He continued, “He has never said it, but I believe him to favour Thor in king if not in everything else,” Loki confessed. “I wish to show I am capable – if not more suited - for the roll.”

“And the queen?”

Loki smirked, turning around to now lean his back on the wall of the bridge, his hands either side of his hips, a flash of tenderness crossing his features. “My mother wishes to remain as impartial as possible - and she does it well,” He admitted with an affectionate smirk as though remembering something, “- but I do not fail to notice the kind glances and knowing smiles she gives me when my father shows his favour to Thor.”

You nodded again, looking down into the cold, darkening waters below. “She has brought you out of Thor’s shadow as much as she can - she picked up on and honed your magic and intellect.” You observed, bobbing your head in thought. “Brothers can so easily seem to merge with one another in similar pass times and likes, but the two of you do not,” You shook your head, “you are both two distinct people with completely different thoughts and skills…”

You glanced to Loki in his silence only to see him watching in apparent amazement. “Don’t look so surprised!” You chided him teasingly though your cheeks flushed red. “I have eyes, your highness.” You pointed out.

“My apologies, it would seem you do…” He mused, turning his head away lost in thought, “It is very… refreshing…” He confessed quietly, both of you now staring down at the water below your feet as it slowly filtered into an inky black, the sun sinking away.

The of you two in companionable silence for a few moments before you dared to ask one thing that had lingered in your mind for many years. “Do you – this will most likely sound… ridiculous as I am sure you most likely don’t – but do you remember the night of the ball when we were younger?” You asked down at the water. A quick at Loki, and the frown on his face, simply confirmed your suspicions. “It was when we were schooled together at the palace, before –“ You cleared your throat, “before titles became important.” You confessed. “There was a festival at the palace, just before we all went our separate ways – a way to –“

“Say goodbye.” Loki murmured down at the river, as though remembering.

You nodded. “On the final day there was a ball,” You reminded him, then glanced over at Loki who continued to stare at the still water, his face creased as though he was trying to recall the night. “You danced with me that night.”

His eyes glanced up to yours, the lack of recollection in them making your heart sink. You didn’t know why you thought there would be though – that night couldn’t have meant half as much to him as it had to you. If it had, it wouldn’t have been nearly seven years later that the two of you were finally alone again on a bridge on an autumn afternoon. You sighed quietly to yourself. “I didn’t see you for ages after that and I must admit I often wondered where you were…” You admitted glancing down at where your hands gripped the bridge, your body turned towards Loki, wondering why you were confessing your stupid teenage crush. “It’s – it’s silly, I know,” You dismissed with a small shake of your head, “But I - I often wondered if you thought about me too…” You trailed off, desperately wanting to look up at his face, but worried you’d just see the pity you’d predicted.

You startled when you felt a hand on your arm, your head snapping up, only to find Loki’s face inches from your own. Your breath caught as he leant down closer to you, closing the distance, his lips almost brushing against yours…

Suddenly you threw out a hand, catching his chest and ducking your head. “I can’t.” You murmured in defeat at your feet, shaking your head hopelessly.

“You… can’t?” Loki repeated bewildered, pulling back only slightly. You shook your head, keeping your head down, worried you might cave if you met his eyes again – either by giving in and kissing him or giving in and telling him everything that was ricocheting violently in your mind. “Are you married, are you with someone?” Loki suggested, confused.

“No.” You shook your head quickly, “No, I just – I can’t.” You stuttered, taking a step back - ‘I can’t’ seeming to be the only answer you could think to give in the moment.

Loki responded by moving a step forward, closing the gap you had just created. “You could yesterday…” He drawled lowly and something in his voice made you glance up, not seeing the annoyance you had expected in his eyes, but instead something almost seductive and fiery for the usually composed prince. His hands reached for yours, pulling you even closer as he held your gaze, his head dipper back to your again and you nearly -

“No, Loki – your – your highness.” You stutter hastily, abruptly pulling back your hands and taking several steps back this time, shaking your head. Your mind was confused and foggy, you couldn’t really think of a good reason why you couldn’t kiss Loki - how you could even begin to try to explain it to him - but you just knew you couldn’t. “I’m - I’m sorry.” You stammered, avoiding his gaze, before you then suddenly turned and bolted back down the street you and Loki had so happily strolled along, leaving the prince where he stood alone on the bridge.

Loki watched your fleeing back without moving, simply wishing that you would cast one last look back at him – just once.

But he knew you would not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually wrote this a few days ago, but I’ve found near on impossible to focus on to edit - I’ve finally done it, though I apologise if it’s not great because I have really struggled to pay attention - next part should be better hopefully!


	6. Part 5

“You said you would –“

“I said I would consider it,” You cut across Yuliya that night when you finally got back to the tower, your friend already waiting for your return. “And Yuli, I just _can’t_.” You insisted desperately, the tears you’d been fighting the whole walk back still threating to overflow as you dropped onto the nearest stool.

Yuliya looked at you sympathetically from where she stood across the room, having been attempting to clean some of the empty jars before they were filled again. She had begun her questioning the moment you’d stepped through the door and done so even more urgently when she saw the state you were in. Even now, she could still read the pain so fresh and raw in your eyes and your friend nodded her head in grave acceptance, knowing you too well. “You would fall in love with him.” She murmured, and it wasn’t a question.

“Yuli, I am scared I already _have_.” You moaned despairingly, slumping onto the work surface next to you, your forehead resting against the wood. A hopeful raven dropped to the table in front of you at this, tapping at the back of your hand expectantly, but you just shooed it away with a careless wave, not bothering to even lift your head – for once, unable to summon even your good humour towards the birds.

You heard Yuli place down the jar she’d been trying to dry with a worn towel before you then felt her arm around your shoulder. She eased you up from you’d buried your head only to then pull you into her side, letting you lean into her instead.

“I can’t keep tormenting myself, Yuli.” You mumbled against her, “I can’t just have a part of him – I can’t just have a night or two and be happy – I know I won’t be.” You confessed honestly. “I wish I could, but I can’t.” You murmured, shaking your head against her miserably.

Yuliya said nothing, instead simply stroked soothing against your upper arm and allowed your tears to soak into her bodice.

* * *

 

Yuliya didn’t bring up the prince for the rest of the evening, instead distracting you with necessary tasks and the gossip she had gathered from other vendors you hadn’t managed to see. You were grateful to her for keeping your mind occupied and - even though you never actually said anything – you were sure Yuliya knew this from the indebted smiles you shot her whenever she would notice you had finished one of your tasks and would quickly suggest another.

Yuliya kept you so busy in fact, that it was surprisingly late when you finally stopped her relentless chattering and task allocating to call it a night. It was only as you collapsed into your bed shortly after, that you realised Yuliya had intentionally exhausted you to the point that you would now do nothing but sleep – and there was no chance you could lie awake and linger over the events of earlier that day. You smirked up at the ceiling and whispered a thank you to the girl who lay next to you – having refused to return home once again. Yuliya’s only reply was to simply roll over onto her side, her back to you, and steal more of the only blanket on the bed, wrapping it around her in a cocoon.

You just snickered – something you hadn’t thought you were capable of doing that night.

* * *

Breakfast the next morning was a relatively quiet affair between you and Yuliya - both of you still partially asleep from your late night and having been awoken early that morning as usual thanks to the cawing from the hungry ravens upstairs.

Your plate of the sweet sugared fruit on offer that morning – barely touched - had been set to the side of where you sat once again in the backroom of the tower, your focus instead on the small fledgling raven before you on the work surface who was unable – or unwilling – to fold his left wing into his body.

A quick examination had revealed the problem – there being a gash in its side just below its wing joint that was inflamed and tender. It was shallow – thankfully - so unlikely to have penetrated the joint capsule, meaning any infection was unlikely to cause too much damage if caught quickly. You reached for the small jar of honey next to you, scooping a tiny portion out with the tip of your finger before dabbing it onto the bald skin on the underside of the bird’s wing where the blood had already congealed. The young raven had mostly likely caused the injury by pushing its luck too far with another young bird – the older ones generally known to have more patience - or by simply having caught itself somehow during one of its many practice fledges.

Either way, you were sure it would learn – the birds always did, no matter what age.

The young raven suddenly startled as the bell for the main door of the tower now rang, echoing off the stone walls. It flapped it’s wings unhappily and only your firm grip on it prevented it fluttering off in a panic. “Yuli, would you please get that? My fingers are still covered in manuka and I don’t wish for this one to escape quite yet.” You explained, gesturing with your sticky fingers at where you gripped the small bird in your other hand. Yuliya nodded as she rose to her feet, her mouth too full of her last bite of bread to provide any audible reply. “If it is a message, you know what to do!” You called after her as she moved past you and up the stairs to the main chamber, “If it is regarding healing, tell them I shall be available in a few moments!”

Yuliya closed the door behind her so to ensure that the injured raven would at least be confined to one room if it managed to escape your grasp. It also meant, however, that – once Yuliya answered the door – you could hear nothing coherent, only a low murmur of voices. The conversation was apparently only brief because the next moment, you heard the heavy main door open and close again.

You didn’t look up when the door behind you was opened again - the fledgling now having calmed down to the point that you could get back to work on its wound and your attention too busily engaged on the fiddly job.

“What was it, Yuli? Just a message?” You asked, still not bothering to look up.

“I am afraid I am not lady Yuliya.” Confessed a familiar voice behind you and your hands froze in place. You lifted your head slightly as though to turn but thought better of it - not needing the visual confirmation of who you knew now stood behind you – and instead bowed your head back to your task, applying the last thin layer of the honey.  

“I take it she has left on a sudden errand, your highness?” You enquired politely, barely concealing the dryness in your voice.

“I did ask for her to allow me a moment alone with you.” Loki admitted, and you heard his footsteps on the stone floor as he now moved further into the room, eventually coming into view out of the corner of your eye as he stepped around the central table you sat at. He finally stopped at the end of the workbench and you could feel his eyes on you as you worked. “She seemed most eager to depart…” He mused.

You sighed tiredly and reached for a rag next to you to wipe the residual honey from your fingertips, making sure to keep your eyes lowered from the princes. “That sounds like Yuli…” You muttered to yourself as you now released the young bird and got to your feet, swiping your hands down. The raven shook him, ruffling his feathers at the indignity of the handling and medical attention. “You, up there.” You ordered the fledgling, pointing to a perch which had been screwed into the stony wall opposite you. You tossed the old rag over your shoulder now as you placed the lid back on the honey jar, “No moving for an hour – let that stuff work before you go flapping around again and brush it all off.” You instructed strictly. The bird glanced to the perch you had gestured at – apparently understanding you - then turned his black orb-like eyes back to you, letting out a caw. You scowled at the little creature, able to read the attitude in that single vocalisation, and sighed, stepping back towards where it sat now and holding out your wrist for it. The young raven happily stepped onto the thick leather band you wore around both wrists for such a purpose, and you then carried it over to the perch. Still the crow cast a wary eye back at the appendage that seemed to emerge from the wall, but he eventually – reluctantly – stepped back onto it, giving a lower croaking sound as you then turned away.

“Teenagers.” You grumbled, rolling your eyes in exasperation as you tugged the sleeve of your dress back over your leather bracelet. “My apologies, my Prince,” You said, finally turning back to Loki, trying to maintain as much dignity as you could muster despite the memory of last night. “As you can see I have my hands relatively full at the moment and I do not really have the time to entertain company – royalty or not.” You tried to explain.

“We were eighteen and I finally asked you to dance on the last slow song.” Loki observed.

“I beg your pardon, my prince?” You blinked in surprise.

“The ball you spoke of last night - you wished to know if I remembered it, and I do now. We were eighteen and we danced on the last slow song of the night.” He stated, now moving in slow, almost measure strides to stand in front of you where you watched him in disbelief. “It was on the balcony, under a crescent moon, the music was quiet because it filtered out from the ballroom through the open balcony door,” He recalled, his voice low and his eyes watch you intensely. “I brushed your curls back from your face,” He murmured, now lifting a hand to push a strand of your hair away from your cheek where it had fallen out of the bun you routinely wore it in. “so I could see your eyes…” He mused, his eyes flicking back to yours to hold your gaze as his hand tuck the stray hairs behind your ear, then continued to move down to the back of your neck.

You tried to open your mouth to say something, but your voice caught in your throat as Loki now leant in closer. “Sometimes I can still feel your head on my shoulder…” He murmured, “And I remember wishing that song had never been over…” He leant in closer towards you, his breath now brushing against your skin and your lips parted in anticipation –

You closed your eyes defeat and ducked your head, halting Loki’s movements. “Your highness – “ You croaked.

“ _Loki_ , please.” He urged, almost growling in his frustration.

You shook your head despairingly, “My _prince,_ ” You stressed, wanting nothing more than to distance yourself from anything even close to a friendly, comradeship with the man, “I can _not_.” You insisted desperately. “I can not do this. Do you - do you not understand when someone is trying to avoid you?!” You demanded with a weak, humourless laugh.

“Trust me, my lady, your fleeing last night was subtle enough.”

“Then –“

“There is a difference, my lady, between can not and will not.” Loki stated, cutting across you. “I can see you want to…” He purred, his hand still at the back of your neck and he applied a slight pressure now, you tipped your head up to reluctantly meet his eyes again, “but you will not allow yourself to.” He observed curiously, “Why?”

“I can not.” Was all you could think to say, tears burning in the corners of your eyes again. Gods, you wanted to tell him - why couldn’t you tell him?! You cried desperately in your mind as you stared into his cool green eyes. If you were not to ever end up with him in either marriage or simple pleasures than why could he not know?

But you knew the answer and it came to you then. The shame. The shame of your rune and what it meant was what was stopping you. The prince would surely think worse of you if he ever knew what you were destined to be because - even if you never married - that rune spoke of a truth that was simply buried within in you. Even if you told him now, only to then cut all ties with him other than that necessary for business, you couldn’t bare the idea of him simply going about his life thinking badly of you. You couldn’t.

“Can not do what? I am asking nothing of you.”

You worried for a moment that he had somehow read your mind, then you recalled the conversation, “You are asking me to kiss you, your highness.” You pointed out, your voice wobbling despite your attempts otherwise.

Loki’s lip twitch with a slight amusement, “And is that really so bad…?” He murmured, bowing his head to yours again, his flickering suggestively between your eyes and mouth. You lick your lips almost unconsciously, parting them again as Loki -

You dropped your head again and you thought you heard the prince release a quiet sigh of exasperation, his grip tightening ever so slightly on your neck in his frustration. “No kiss is harmless.” You finally mumbled, answering his question.

“Is that your rune?”

“Pardon?” You frowned, confused by the sudden change in subject and glancing down at where the prince’s eyes had followed your bowed head and caught sight of the leather thong just showing from under the shawl you currently wore against the chill in the tower. “Um – uh – yes, your highness.” You muttered, quickly tucking it away.

“I do not believe I have ever seen it before…” He mused, and you made comment. “Most ladies appear to purposely show their own off, but you…”

“I resent having my future told for me.” You stated rather bluntly, “- m-my prince.” You added hastily in an attempt to apologise. “And I…” You sighed tiredly, glancing away, feeling his hand now drop from the back of your neck. “I do not appreciate the reminder that I am forced to wear.” You confessed.

“May I see?” Loki probed gently, but you could hear the overwhelming intrigue in his voice.

Your lips twisted into a humourless smirk. “We are not to marry, your highness – nor engaged - so no, I am afraid I would rather you didn’t.”

“What if we were?”

“My prince?” You snorted lightly, glancing up, sure you must have misheard him. Your face dropped however, when you noticed Loki’s face was completely serious.

“My sweet lady [Y/N],” The prince urged, catching your hands in his own and squeezing your fingers – avoiding your bandages - you are the most good-natured creature I have ever met - kind, understanding, clever, beautiful – I could read of a list of your traits to the Bifrost and back and still not come to a flaw,” He swore, but – as your cheeks flushed hotter than you had ever thought possible and your pulse raced under your skin, all you could think was, _no._ “I could think of no one better,” He bowed his head, bringing your hands to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to them, “to be queen alongside me.” He dropped your hands away again, finding your eyes once more. “Marry me.” He insisted earnestly.

You struggled for words, your mouth open, but nothing coherent or particularly audible escaping them, “M-my prince,” You finally managed out through a gasp, “we-we have only kissed once!” You declared in disbelief, letting out a shaky laugh of near-hysterics. “I – I hardly know you – I – I do not even know why you kissed me before at–“

“I kissed you at the wall because I suddenly became aware of how much I wanted to.” Loki told you truthfully, now pulling you closer with his hold on your hands. “And I really want to now…” He confessed in a low voice only inches from your face again. You dropped your gaze, knowing what those warm, seductive eyes could do to you if you let them catch a hold of you, and you didn’t miss the mischievous glint in the prince’s that told you he knew it too.

“Now I am asking you to marry me because every moment I have spent with you I have discovered more and more of a women that I can love,” Loki stressed earnestly, “and, if a proposal is what it takes for you to allow me the pleasure of your company for now and forever more, then I am more than certain it is not something I shall regret nor wish to go back on.” He declared.

You could feel your legs shaking beneath you, your body seeming to go into shock. “I- I can’t.” You stuttered at the floor.

Loki tipped his head back, “Oh, if only I could ban those two simple words from your lips…” He growled to the ceiling before dropping his head back down to you again, amusement pulling at the corner of his lips.

You shook your head his hand again, feeling his breath brush against your hair as you kept your eyes on your feet. “My prince, I could not do this if it was to lead to nothing.”

“That is why –“

“And I cannot do this if it would lead to anything more.” You confessed, cutting across him.

“I do not understand.” Loki professed after a moment and you could hear the frown in his voice without needing to look up.

“I cannot except you to,” You said, pulling your hands finally from his, “but I only ask that you accept it.”

“I find I cannot.” The prince confessed coolly, “But if that is your wish, my lady, so be it.” He nodded, “I only ask that you take a period of time to consider my proposal and – if you choose to deny me again, allow me the privilege to know why?” He beseeched. You felt a light on your forehead before Loki turned and left. You remained completely still, your head still bowed, until you had heard the heavy oak door close behind him.

Then you let your tears fall freely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so I’ve basically written this today - and done a very basic/quick edit of it - so I apologise if it’s not great!
> 
> Unlike my previous chapters, I haven’t actually planned much else out from now on, so I can’t guarantee how quickly I can produce the next parts - but I’ll try to keep the ball rolling whilst I can haha
> 
> Hope you like it!


	7. part 6

The Asgardian tradition of a women’s rune necklace was something that had been around for longer than anyone could recall, and its reasoning long since lost to time. You were unfamiliar with anyone ever having challenged the custom in history – or anyone even questioning why it had only ever extended to the female population – but this mostly likely due to the varying wives’ tales that surrounded the soul binding.

And that was what the necklaces were, a part of a girl’s soul trapped away at birth until they were able to unlock it on the day of their marriage. You glanced down at yours now as you sat, your knees pulled up to your chest – a position you had often be chastised for by your mother – in the graveyard garden, the smell of smoke and smouldering wood still lingering on the air. You lifted the antler tip off where it always rested on your chest, now rotating it between your fingertips to examine, for the millionth time, the rune shape carved into it.

You knew the etching in the bone was made by using a piece of sunglass, and the antler then stained in beeswax to seal it, but the actual  _binding_  that took place between a person and the rune was a heavily guarded secret that even your extensive reading on the subject could shed very little light on. This was for good reason of course, binding a person’s mind to a vessel was powerful magic and not something that should be accessible to learn for any layman, hence why a small council had been formed that oversaw the practice for each girl’s birth, their methods secretive and their recruiting limited.

You fiddled with the antler piece, scowling at it. The soul runes were a subject that had frustrated and tormented you for most of your life. The bare basics of them were taught to a girl at a young age – they formed questions pretty quickly after all about the leather thong that was placed around their neck at birth – but you had taken a special interest in the topic, educating yourself further than any other girl would care to go. Most just accepted it. You had wanted to know  _why_.

You put down most of your intrigue to the fact that your parents – unlike other children’s families – had refused to explain your runes meaning to you. You remember the other girls running around thrilled and proud about what their rune meant, how they would be this or that when they grew up. Of course, they would then ask you what your rune was – what you were destined for – and you hadn’t known. Neither had they though, when they demanded to see your rune – they had never seen the odd symbol before. That evening, they had run home, bursting with questions about the odd rune on their friend, seeking the answer of its meaning from their parents, but they too refused to speak of it and instead strongly advised that the child stay away from the girl and offered the same advice to any boy as well.

There were few who rebelled enough to ignore these words of wisdom, and before you knew it, your friendship pool had diminished to only a few chosen few - Yuliya always having been the one by your side consistently.

So, you kept your rune hidden from then on – quickly having pieced that together as the source of people’s discomfort around you – and quickly changed the subject If it ever came up. Your grandfather was the one who had helped you discover the true meaning of your rune.

You glanced to your right at the stone statue next to you. It was barely over two-foot-tall but the stone crow – its wings thrown open - was carved with such detail that it looked as though it might take off from its little dais at any point, or at the very least turn one of its cold eyes on you. It was the work of Yuliya’s courter – a blacksmith who dabble in stone work on the side – and you’d paid him with every coin you had and promised him several weeks wages despite his protests. It was a work of art after all – a thing of beauty - and exactly what you had wanted to place in memory of your grandfather. Since it had been laid a little over a year ago, a few weeks after his death, you always visited the spot once a week – more if you needed to. The garden was not a popular place like it once was, but even so, you had chosen the most private area for your memorial, a little hollow in the western corner which a tall willow largely obscured. You and your grandfather had always enjoyed peace and quiet – often not saying whilst you helped him, simply enjoying each other’s company – and you felt it was only right that his earthly reminder be kept away from the business of the world beyond the shrubbery and it, in turn, offered you a sanctum to hide at as well when you needed it most.

Your grandfather had been the one to point you in the right direction to discover the truth behind your rune. He was subtle about it, giving no answers outright - so not as to disobey your parents - but instead suggesting you peruse a certain book you would be able to find at the palace library where your studies took place alongside the other high-ranking children close to your age, including the two princes.

So, you sought the answers for yourself, using your free time to seek out the few books you could find on the runes and their translations. It became clear to you - as you had run your eyes over the pages - why certain runes suggested certain occupations and personalities and you soon made it a hobby of yours to learn and observe different types of runes and their behavioural affects.

There were ten different types of runes in total - some more common than others - and each predicted a certain path for an individual, foretelling their future personality and natural skills. It wasn’t that you were forced by law down these paths laid out for you, but more that these rune around your neck were in fact  _you_  – a part of you at least – and the reconnection with that part of upon the ceremonial burning of the necklace unleashed an area of your mind that you didn’t know existed – the part of you that was maternal, or judicious or a voyager, and then you understood your predetermined future.

It was whilst you poured over these books - scribbling notes whenever you found the slightly ‘new’ piece of information amongst a repetitive babble - that you had first met Loki in fact. You had seen him around the palace and in lessons, of course, but never had the two of you acknowledged each other’s presence. The prince had seemed almost as surprised as you upon discovering someone else in the library aside from himself. He had said nothing at the revelation however, but merely grabbed the book he had been searching for from the shelf and taken a seat directly opposite you at the central table.

You had fought the urge to glance up again, knowing for certain you were blushing a bright red, but you had felt Loki’s eyes on your face and the pages you now pointlessly turned. Eventually he had turned his attention to his own book and the two of you had sat in silence together for the rest of your study period. After that though, you had always made sure to hide yourself away in the deepest recess of the library where you definitely could not be found and your studying took on a almost desperate fever, the eligible age of marriage fast approaching and you praying to every god that the more you knew about your rune, the more you stood a chance of fighting against it and your so-called ‘destiny’.

“Look how that turned out.” You murmured to the crow, brushing a hand quickly over your eyes. You weren’t sure whether you regretted knowing about your rune or not, it had permanently altered the way you lived your life after all, but at least now you could stop it – or at the very least try to make up for it.

You glanced back down to your necklace where it just hung as a constant threat. Not everyone kept their rune as a necklace – although it was the most popular style it seemed – where occupations or job made a necklace cumbersome or annoying, some would merely keep the token in their pockets or adjust the leather into bracelets for their ankles or wrists. Anything was generally acceptable really – as long as it remained on your person. Not that there was any law that forbade the removal of a rune though, but it was strongly frowned upon - Gods forbid it break before your marriage after all. Not that anyone knew what would happen if it did – no one even considered damaging their rune – no one except you. You had never done it though – you did not even know if it was possible outside of the matrimonial flame - but you had considered it. You always wondered if it you broke it before your marriage, would that part of you simply disappear into the ether? Or, maybe the rune’s secret would simply be unleashed on you earlier than it should. That was the fear. That was the thought that had always stopped you from trying.

The sound of footsteps on the gravel path to your left now pulled you out of your thoughts. It was a public garden, it could have been anyone, but you knew who it would be – the only person who knew that this is where you sought sanctuary away from reality. You didn’t bother to lift your gaze though, your eyes still on the small tip of bone in your hand, noticing the branches of the willow being pushed aside out of the corner of your eye.

 _“Sol_. Go.”

“I beg your pardon?” You asked, the croak in our voice giving away the tears you had wiped away.

“The rune. Its meaning. I know you still know it - go.” Yuli urged. You raised an eyebrow at her. Yuliya hadn’t always been thrilled with your obsession for the rune necklaces, but she had found the occasional entertainment in how she could question you on any other them and you were able to quote the translations straight back to her.

“Yuli, do we ha–“

“Call it a distraction, come on.” She insisted.

You sighed quietly. “Rune of victory,” You murmured, “Success and spiritual control. Often predicts a warrior’s heart.”

“ _Tyr?_ ” Yuli suggested down to you. You rolled your eyes, pulling your cloak tighter around your shoulder at the evening wind chill.

“Rune of law and order.” You recited, “Foretells a passion in the legal system and ensuring justice through judgement.”

“ _Reid.”_

“Rune of riding. Predicts wanderlust, a need for journeying – found most commonly amongst travellers and traders.”

“ _Oss_.”

“Rune of communication, songs and words. Prophesises a scribe or bard occupation.”

“ _Ar?”_

“Rune of timing, of knowledge and skill. Very general, can envisage anything from crafter to scholar to farmer. Presents the least direction and is seen as the most freeing rune.” You always added.

“That’s a personal opinion, not a quotation – keep it to yourself.” Yuli scolded you playfully, scowling like one of your old, stern tutors. You smirked. “ _Bjarkan?_ ”

“Rebirth and purification, common amongst those in the medical profession – especially midwives.”

“ _Madhr_.”

“Means man, family and/or clan connections. Predicts a caring personality and occupations reflect this…” You trailed off, craning your neck as you searched the recesses of you mind for the last part of that particular paragraph. “Can also been seen amongst seafaring folk.” You said quickly, nodding as you suddenly recalled it.

Yuli nodded, “Logr?”

“Water, cleansing. Another popular rune amongst sailors, but also in those that find strong devotion to the gods.” You said, fiddling with the collar of your cloak, the information easily flooding back now.

“Yr.”

“Rune means bow and iron. Also known as the death rune.” You quoted, “Often seen in those babies that die at birth and so often strikes fear in a parent. Despite its tendency to suggest a weak child, it can also suggest a stronger than average child both mentally and physically and predicts an archer or smith’s future.”

You didn’t miss Yuliya’s slight pause before she spoke the final rune, nor the flicker of concern in her eyes, nor the fact that she had purposely chosen to leave the particular rune till last. “Purs/Thurs.” She finally said, keeping her eyes firmly on you now as she waited for your answer.

The mere mention of the rune’s name always made your heart drop in your chest and your throat constrict slightly – always able to recall it, and all the extra information you had ever read concerning it, with ease. “The rune of power, strength and brute force.” You finally answered stiffly, “Used for bindings or magic staves to increase their power. Means torturer, cliff-dweller - giant. Foretells a future of harm and destruction.” You listed.

“Wrong.” Yuliya stated quietly but firmly after a pause. You let out a sigh, closing your eyes in exasperation, knowing what was to come next. “You always get that one wrong.” Your friend reminded you gently.

“It’s not wrong, Yuli,” You sighed tiredly, “That is, word for word, what every book states.”

“That is  _half_  of what the books says.” Yuli pointed out, “You always forget that the rune has i meanings. Two  _opposite_  meanings.” She stressed. “It may mean destruction. It can also mean  _protector_.”

You rolled your eyes in exasperation and exhaustion, letting your head fall back against the willow you sat against. “I thought you said this was a distraction.” You growled. “That we weren’t to talk of  _it_ anymore.”

She sighed, sitting down next to you on the damp grass. “In an ideal world…” She admitted sadly, gazing out over at the garden visible through the trees drooping branches in front of you before turning her eyes back to you. “You could say yes, you know.” She murmured.

You closed your eyes, not about to question how she knew about the proposal, “Yuli, I could not do this to someone I did not love, let alone to someone that I  _do_.” You groaned, “This rune is  _my_  burden now, but when I marry it becomes Loki’s as well - I cannot do that to the prince _.”_ You insisted despairingly.

“[Y/N], you have to allow the prince the choice to carry that burden.” Yuliya explained, “He may well refuse,” She continued quickly before you could refuse, “and then you may carry on with your current state of self-pity –“ You scowled, “- but the prince may  _agree_ , [Y/N] - and then you could have your happily ever after.”

All you could do was shake your head hopelessly. You didn’t know what to say. Yuli was right, no one could predict the prince’s reaction to your rune, but if he was like anyone else he would simply turn and flee.

But there was a tiny chance he would not.

But that would require you confessing to Loki, and that in itself seemed like a near impossible task. You did not think you could stand the look you knew you would see on his face when the realisation hit him. “Yuli, I – I don’t think I can do it - tell him I mean.” You clarified, “I – I can’t see –“  _the_   _look of horror,_  you wanted to say - the look that confirmed to you he could not love you – not  _all_  of you. Not the part that had yet to show itself. That he could not marry you, in fear of what you would become. And, if he couldn’t marry you, you knew that he would not be with you  _period._ He was a prince after all, which meant that no matter how much fun he may find with various ladies each night currently, one day Loki would be forced to settle down and marry. And it couldn’t be with you.

Whether your heart broke now or in a few years, it would have to break.

You groaned, covering your face with your palms now, pressing the back of your head harder into the bark behind you. Why had the prince proposed to you in the first place? In your mind it made no sense. None of the past few days did. Why had he insisted on accompanying you through the market? Why had he kissed you at the wall? Why – why on that very first day of all this, had Loki come to the tower and asked for something he could damn well have made himself?!

Loki’s behaviour was just as puzzling to you as yours likely was to him. “I just don’t know.” You groaned miserably, dropping your hands from your damp cheeks and glancing across to the stone carving again. It felt like its eyes were on you, telling you that you knew what to do, you were just too scared to do it.

“What would he have said?” Yuliya asked gently next to you, nodding to the raven.

“Probably the exact same as what you have said.” You admitted with a weak laugh, “Though, he would call me princess.” You added with a small shrug, a sad smile playing on your lips at the fond memory.

“You see,” Yuliya pointed out gently, “he thought you were princess material.” You smirked feebly. “He also knew what your rune was and didn’t shun you.” Yuli pointed out, “and neither do I.” She reminded you. “There are people like that out there, [Y/N] - like your grandfather, like me, and maybe like Loki – that do not care about your rune.” She insisted earnestly. You sighed tiredly. “I promise you, [Y/N], the prince is different around you - more genuine, honest.” She explained. “Maybe it is time you are that with  _him_.” She pointed out.

You glanced at her in surprise. She was right really. Wasn’t she? You closed your eyes, grimacing as you looked away again. Were you truly considering this? You jumped slightly when you suddenly felt a hand on your own - a warmth against the cold skin of your healing frostbite still hidden under your bandages. “Stop trying to prove yourself to him,” Yuliya urged, “And give him a chance to prove himself to  _you_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, next parts ready-ish. I’m not a huge fan of this chapter, but I was desperately trying to find a way to worm in a half-decent explanation of my rune idea into the story. It doesn’t flow great, but I hope it clears a few things up? (Though I’ve probably missed some stuff out so let me know if you have any questions on it and I’ll try and answer if it doesn’t give away the rest of the story haha)
> 
> I have based the runes off real runes - the Younger Futhark runes. I haven’t used all of them and I know very little about Norse mythology. I have vaguely used their meanings, but everything I am doing with them is completely fictional and I don’t mean to disrespect them or their meanings in any way so I hope no one takes offence if I mess this up in anyway!
> 
> (I actually only came up with his whole fan fiction because I own a necklace like the ones in the story with one of the runes on it!)
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	8. Part 7

It was proving to be a near impossible task to find Loki.

You had headed straight for the palace upon leaving the graveyard garden - Yuliya immediately offering to accompany you for support. You had turned your friend down though, insisting that this was something you must really do alone and instead reassuring her that you would meet her back at the raven tower after it was over.

And you were sure it would be _over_.

Yuliya had given you a small, encouraging smile, but you could see the worry in her eyes when the two of you had parted – it clear that, despite her insistence upon you opening up to the prince, she was also only too aware of how painfully this could end for you.

The same concern now repeated itself constantly in your own mind as you wandered the marble hallways of the palace nervously, wringing your hands and feeling your heart racing at every corner, fearing that when you turned it, Loki – or a guard - would be there.

You didn’t want the confrontation with either.

So far, however - despite your worries – both were proving illusive.

You were going to have to ask for help soon, though, if you were to stand any chance of finding Loki in the maze of corridors and halls. You would have to be careful who you asked though - you had snuck into the castle behind the backs of sentry guards and had already avoided several roaming patrols. Servants rushed past you without a second look – too busy with their own concerns – but you knew if anyone of any higher status saw you, they would immediately stop to question you. It was not that you weren’t willing to tell them the truth behind your presence in the castle – an excuse that you definitely be required thanks to the status your appearance suggested – but merely that you highly doubted they would believe you.

 _You_ still did not believe it after all. You also doubted that the proposal was something Loki had declared to every inhabitant of the castle…

You tried to corner numerous maids - some carrying linen, others empty bronze platters – beseeching them in your kindest voice for information relating to the whereabouts of Loki, but each plea seemed to fall on deaf ears. Some formally denied any knowledge, other shier girls barely even cast you a single glance before shaking their heads hastily and scurrying off out of sight again. You were almost certain most of them had not even paused to comprehend what you were saying.

When this happened for the seventh time, you sighed loudly in exasperation, rolling your eyes at the empty corridor as yet another young servant vanished around a pillar at the end of the hall. This was complicated enough with the acceptance of your presence in the castle questionable – and common sense would have told you to wait for Loki to seek you out again – but you knew your courage was thin as it was, any added delay would only serve to wain it further.

And _this_ was definitely an added delay.

“You are too convincing in your role of a commoner, my dear.” Came a voice behind you, “They shall never pause to even consider the words out of your mouth.” You turned in surprise to find Fandrel walking up behind you.

It had been years since you’d last seen him – other than from afar as part of Thor’s entourage – but it was without a doubt him - the well-groomed warrior not appearing to have changed at all from the memory of the self-assured young man who had studied alongside you in this very palace all those years ago.

His words slowly perforate through your shock now, and you glanced down where his eyes scanned up and down you. What he said was true, of course, you had long stopped dressing for the social class you were supposedly a part of by blood and instead looked no more than what your day job suggested - a raven keeper and potion brewer. “But I am –“ You protested with a weak croak.

“I’m aware of who you are, Lady [Y/N],” Fandrel interrupted you, smirking at the surprise on your face when he remembered your name. “That was why I state ‘ _act’_.” He remined you, “I cannot forget a beautiful woman, even if she is hidden under the multiple layers of grime and stains you seem so fond of…” He drawled, his eyes flicking over you again, lingering on a particularly large stain on the fabric at your hip.

You ignored this thinly veiled criticism of your appearance, taking a breath to compose yourself again. “It _has_ been a long time, Fandrel.” You nodded, your voice coming out clearer and steadier this time.

“And always a pleasure.” The young warrior grinned boldly back.

Your lips twitched briefly at his brazenness for a moment, almost having missed his cheeky personality. Then your mind returned to the reason you were even in the palace again, and your face sobered immediately. “Are _you_ able to tell me where the prince is?”

“Thor?”

“Loki.”

Fandrel arched his brows in surprise, “Now why, I wonder, would a nice young lady such as yourself, be seeking out that particular… _God…_ ” He mused, intrigued and clearly having wished to say something… else.

You scowled at the blond man, folding your arms under your chest. “I do not see how that information is at all necessary for you to answer my question.”

Fandrel wiggled his eyebrows at you, not at all perturbed by your attitude. “Have I hit nerve?” He asked in mocking innocence. “I was not aware you were so fond of our little trickster…” You continued to scowl at him, unwilling - and unsure really - how to comment. Fandrel glanced away, with a light shrug, looking as though he had no care in the world, “I do believe I _may_ have caught his shadow slinking off towards the vaults…” He admitted, his eyes on the wall mural on his right.

You blinked at him in surprise, then nodded, “My thanks.” You murmured, before turning and heading back down the hallway you had just walked up.

“I do hope our parting is much shorter this time, my dear.” You heard the fair warrior sing after you.

You just rolled your eyes, “Goodbye, Fandrel.” You called back dryly, not faltering.

* * *

The palace never changed, and you could recall the route to large stone steps with relative ease and minimal wrong turns. A few guards gave you odd looks as you headed deeper into the golden castle, but none tried to stop you for whatever reason and you wondered if somehow Fandrel had passed a message around the patrols.

The vault lay beneath Asgard, and, as you passed through the stone arch that marked the top of the stairwell leading to its depths, you immediately felt the cold embrace of the earth below and the thick walls soon muffled any noise from palace floors above.

When you reached the cavern below, you nodded to the stony-faced guards positioned there, the flicker of their eyes the only sign that they even acknowledged your presence. They were sure to be questioning your reasons for being down here, but they clearly didn’t seem to believe a young civilian girl could cause much harm to bother abandoning their posts.

You moved down a long passageway now, cold and empty apart from the occasional ancient artefact balanced on podiums either side of you. You saw no sign of any other life and began to doubt that Loki was truly down here - had Fandrel been playing with you? Or were you being cynical, and Loki had simply left?

It was as you were contemplating on giving up upon reaching the next pillar, that you caught sight of a glow of light from one of the few corridors that branched off the main boardwalk you were walking along. It was not like the usual warm, golden radiance of a torch or candle, but seem to be a wintry blue hue that drifted out around the corner of the hallway like smoke on the air.

You knew there were relics down here from battles long past - some mere trophies, others you aware were cursed with powerful enchantments too dangerous to be anywhere but buried deep within the castle, and the icy blue seemed to emanate this sort of power. It drew your intrigue as much as it filled you with an odd fear, and you approached the corner cautiously, feeling a chill washing over you as you moved closer.

When you slipped around the pillar you weren’t sure exactly what you planned to see – some obvious radiant artefact, perhaps? However, all you found was Loki.

You couldn’t help the gasp that escaped you as the prince turned at the movement behind him. “My lady, this is a surprise…” He drawled smoothly, a polite look of shock on his face - though it didn’t seem to meet his eyes and you wondered if he had heard your footsteps approaching.

“I-I’ve been looking for you.” You stammered lamely, unable to think of nothing else to say in the moment – your mind seeming to have wiped itself blank in the surprise of suddenly coming across the prince. You blushed profusely when Loki blinked in surprise at you, the reality of the situation hitting you again. Here you were, stood alone in a darkened cavern with the man – the _prince_ – that had proposed to you earlier that same day.

And anything the two of you had would all end the moment you confided in him.

“Yet you are surprise to see me?” Loki question, quirking a brow at you, amusement pulling at his lips.

You opened you mouth but words completely failed you this time and you glanced away, embarrassed, only for your eyes to catch sight of a familiar cool blue light past the prince. “What is that?” You frowned, distracted.

“The Casket of Ancient Winters.” Loki informed you, barely casting a glance back at the relic where it continued to emit a cold air, his tone dismissive and uninterested.

“Oh.” You mumbled lamely, your breath curling visibly in front of you thanks to the freezing air.

“Hm,” Loki mused, and you could feel his eyes on your face though you were trying not to meet his gaze. “I enjoy pondering the complexity of the relics down here – this one in particular holds importance for the Frost giants. I had hopes it would hold some secrets to their recent tasks.”

“Oh right…” You murmured sheepishly, keeping your gaze low.

“A mere fruitless distraction though, I assure you, from what my mind truly wished to linger on…” He admitted now, and you couldn’t help glancing up through your lashes towards his face, the tone of his voice making you too curious. “The tortuous await for your answer…” He mused, his lips curling into a playful smirk.

You blushed hotly, unable to help the pull of your lips at this somewhat-dramatic confession, “You knew Yuliya would talk to me.” You muttered, your eyes flicking back up to his again.

“I had no guarantee,” Loki defended, holding his hands up innocently, “But _yes_ ,” He nodded, “I had hope she would make you reconsider.” He confessed with small, only slightly shameful, smile.

You scowled disapprovingly at him, but you knew it didn’t reach your eyes, and you didn’t miss the expectant look in the prince’s eyes – still awaiting an answer.

You chewed your lip as you glanced away again, letting a small sigh escape through your lips.

You had to do it.

Now.

“My prince, I – I need to talk to you.” You admitted, your voice breaking slightly.

Loki’s silence made you glance up, catching the flicker of the prince’s eyes back to the casket behind him. Somehow you did not believe you were supposed to see this, and you dropped your eyes when his haze returned to you without any hint of explanation. “I am sensing some dark words…” He mused coolly, “I believe there are enough shadows down here as it is – please…” He gestured politely for the two of you to head back the way you had come towards the lighter levels of the palace.

You blinked in surprise at this, but nodded, not particularly glad for the delay in the words you simply wished to get out, but happy to leave the darkness of the bedrock cavern and the cold, blue gloom of the giant’s box.

The two of you walked in silence back up the stone steps you had descended only a few moments ago - you awkwardly leading the way, your whole-body tense and heart rate close to erratic as you couldn’t help but dread the conversation you knew was to come.

You lingered upon emerging back out into the gold and marble corridor, until Loki startled you slightly by taking your hand in his without a word and leading you down the opposite way you had come – very unsure of what was happening and your mind stuck on the uncomfortable conversations you knew you would have to stop him and broach.

You lingered briefly upon emerging back out into the bright marble of the palace corridors, keeping your eyes on the golden detail that lined the bottom of the wall opposite out of sheer nerves, and startling when Loki suddenly took your hand in his. He said no words, but instead simply pulled you down the hall to your right and you followed after him without protest - not knowing where he was taking you or why, and only able to think of the fact you should really just stop him and confess.

Now.

“Loki –“ You started, sinking your heels into the ground, the prince turning at his name and your sudden resistance. A slight frown creased his brow, and he looked at you expectantly. “I –“ You faltered, dropping your gaze, unable to maintain the intense eye contact with the prince. “I – I do not wish to deceive you any longer and t-though I have yet to actually speak a lie to you I… I feel like I am.” You admitted timidly. You felt Loki slightly squeeze your hand in reassurance and you swallowed, willing your heart to slow and your palms to stop sweating.

“Loki -” You breathed nervously, “What do you know of the runes?” You tried.

“Enough.” He nodded, “Powerful magic - It attracted my attention.” He stated with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

“Mine as well.” You confessed, bobbing your head, “Though largely due to my wish for answers no one would give me,” You admitted as an aside. “But I – I…” You sighed down at your feet, “The runes – my rune – it is… It is the reason I have feared answering your proposal – the reason I have never married previously – nor put any effort into finding someone to marry.” You explained, keeping your face – and hopefully your emotions – hidden. “Please know that I would never think poorly of you were you to rescind your proposal.” You urged, glancing up for the first time to the prince’s face, but Loki made no comment, though his frown deepened with increasing concern. You sighed heavily dropping your eyes again and pulling your hand out of the prince’s which he – reluctantly – allowed.

“You – you noticed my rune earlier…” You recalled, “And there is a reason, my prince, that it is not something I chose to show off– that it is not something I reveal to everyone…”

“You have the Thurs rune.” Loki’s voice was gentle, barely more than a murmur, but it was not a question.

“You know?” You blinked in disbelief, your head snapping up.

“I assumed - merely based off our interactions and your reluctancy.” He explained with a shrug.

“And yet you still proposed to me?” You asked incredulously, not comprehending his nonchalance at the knowledge.

Loki glanced away from you with a small smirk of amusement. “The rune is only a small part of you, my lady.” He explained, “I have fallen for the women I see before me now, a rune’s enchantment will neither alter nor remove that.”

“But I could become cruel, malicious, heartless –“

“Or you may not.” Loki reasoned, and you could not help your eye roll, instantly reminded of Yuliya and her familiar protests. You heard Loki chuckled lightly in front of you, “I can see you are tired of hearing this.” He observed, and you suddenly remembered yourself, blushing.

“No – no I – “ You backtracked quickly but Loki held up a patient hand, stopping you.

“I can only begin to attempt to understand your frustrations, but please, allow me to make it abundantly clear that no trapped soul segment will alter my feelings towards you.”

“You truly still wish to marry me?” You asked in disbelief, unable to make sense of this.

Loki suddenly dropped to his knee in front of you in the middle of the empty corridor and you felt your breath catch in your throat. Loki reached for your hand again now, clasping it firmly between his own. “Without any unshakable doubts.” He insisted, and your cheeks flushed even brighter, your heart pounding heavily in your chest. “And if this is all that holds you back – fear of the future –“ He explained, “then know that I shall be by your side throughout all of it – that we shall overcome everything that stands in our way.” He swore staring you straight in the eyes. “So, lady [Y/N] [L/N], please tell me now, that there is nothing else holding you back – that you are willing to answer my question.” He urged.

“This is no trick, you swear?” You tried, suspicious.

“Do I look as though I wish to trick you?” He gestured to where he knelt, almost vulnerable before you.

“You are good.” You reasoned, chewing your lip.

“No trick, no test.” Loki swore, “Only something I believe – in my naivety - to be love.” He mused, “And I do hope that you believe it too.” His eyes searched your face for something, perhaps a confirmation of this and the doubt and fear must have been clear on your face. “My lady, it is a simple question with a simple answer, and I do not wish to overcomplicate it.” He looked up at you beseechingly.

You looked away, raising your chin to keep your eyes anywhere but on Loki. You bit down harder on your lip as you thought, your heart erratic in your chest.

Was it this simple? Was it this uncomplicated? The suitor you could only have dreamt of. With just an answer. No strings. Pure innocence. Pure love.

You pulled in a shaky breath, then dropped your head back down to where Loki still knelt on the marble floor.

“Yes.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, I’m sorry this took so long, and I’m sorry in advance that its not great! I’ve been playing with this chapter for weeks now and I just don’t like it. It kind of feels unnecessary, but I feel like it also needs to be included. I couldn’t think of any other scenes to include in this chapter, and hindsight I probably should have stuck in on the end of the last part, but of well!  
> I’ll do one more part, then I might give this series a break and work on some requests etc. (You’ll understand why when you read the next part!)
> 
> Hope you like it even if its not great - I’ve worked on it on an off so the editing probably isn’t great and I’m not sure it flows particularly well!


	9. part 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after Ragnarok, though Ragnarok never happened if that makes sense?? (aka those relationships - Thor kinda loves his brother again, Loki begrudgingly loves Thor? haha)

8 YEARS LATER

————————

“This is truly the worst idea you have ever had.” Loki grumbled miserably.

“Why, because it involves [Y/N]?” Thor raised an eyebrow, not bothering to hide the amusement in his eyes as he traipsed back out of the Quinjet where it sat on the helipad.

“Because I know you shall want  _me_  to talk to her.” Loki observed moodily, his arms folded as he watched his brother move to the next heavy box of supplies across the tarmac outside the Avengers compound.

Thor squatted down and wrapped his large muscular arms around the next container before lifting it with ease and strolling back towards the aircraft - nodding to two men that now wandered around the side of the jet from the direction of the cockpit.

“Let me guess, you pissed her off?” Agent Clint Barton quirked a bemused brow at the trickster god, and Loki shot him a murderous glare.

“Ooo, looks like you hit a sensitive spot, Legolas.” Stark observed with a grin, elbowing the agent. “Ex-girlfriend?” Tony presumed, glancing between the two Asgardians expectantly.

“Ex- _wife_.” Thor corrected, and Clint and Tony now stared at Loki with wide incredulous eyes.

Loki didn’t give them the satisfaction of acknowledging their stares though, his eyes still watching his brother’s work with a bored look. “Not even ex.” He muttered moodily under his breath.

Thor heard this though and paused half-way up the Quinjet’s ramp, spinning back around to his brother with the heavy container still in his arms. “You never…?” Loki just shook his head. “Ah.” Was all his brother could seem to say in response, turning back to deposit the supply box with the rest of them in the aircraft before brushing his hands on his thighs and returning to join the two other men in staring at his brother in disbelief. “Why have -?”

“There was never exactly a chance, brother.” Loki scowled dryly.

“Have you seen her since –“

“No.” Loki cut across him, not wanting any more details of his personal life being revealed to the two others listening in so keenly.

Thor whistled in disbelief. “Brother, I do believe she may kill you.”

Loki scowled, “Thank you for that helpful observation…”

Loki was joled rather abruptly as Thor now stepped forward and clapped his brother heartily on the shoulder. “I apologise for your personal life’s involvement, brother, I do – though it is wholly your fault,” He pointed out, shamelessly and Loki scowled at the reminder, “But, brother, whatever this is that we are dealing with - it is not of this realm. And likely it is our presence that had caused it. We must aid where we can.” Thor insisted, squeezing his brother’s shoulder.

Loki studied his brother’s face carefully. “I understand, brother.” He eventually muttered, accepting, though not liking the situation. He then glanced over at the two men who still listened in eagerly for anything more interesting revelations into their least favourite God’s personal life. “Does it really require  _her_  presence though, Thor?” He muttered, under his breath, his eyes flicking back to his brother. “Can it be no other?”

“Whatever these things are Loki, surely you can sense as I do that they are of a spiritual origin?” Thor enthused, and Loki showed his hesitant agreement with this by glancing away again. “I understand your reluctance, brother, but [Y/N] is the only person that has any expertise in this area – she our best chance of understanding what it is that we are up against here.”

Loki kept his eyes averted from his brother as Thor watched his face, waiting for the eventual acceptance. “You know where she is?” Loki finally murmured unwillingly, his eyes on the fields spreading out away from the Avenger’s compound.

“I have heard rumours,” Thor admitted, “but Heimdall shall know for certain.” He assured, gripping Loki’s shoulder strongly, “I appreciate your understanding, Loki.” Thor urged honestly, finally releasing his sibling, now going to return to his task of loading the jet. “And, who knows, brother, perhaps she shall hold no grudge?” He teased cheerily with a wide grin.

Loki scowled scathingly at his brother, knowing that the two of them were both well aware that there was no way that [Y/N] [L/N] would not wish Loki Odinson dead the moment she laid eyes on him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, the last piece before I plan to take a break from this series for a little bit and try some other things (i.e. all the requests I have!) It’s only short, and not brilliant, but hopefully it’ll get you guys excited for the next half??

**Author's Note:**

> Very short, just a little thing I threw together this evening because I had the idea so clear in my head I just had to make the most of it and write it down - I think it sounds like a possible series, though I don’t currently have any plans with where to take it…. haha 
> 
> (Sorry there’s not actually much Loki in this part! :S)
> 
> Let me know what you think!


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